Posted by Michael Zahara on Sep 11, 2015
I remember the day very well, as if it were yesterday. My cousin Rita married Bob that day, I stood up, they’re still married today, 36 years later, God bless ’em; I was a senior in High School and those little fuqrs overtook the US Embassy in Tehran before the cake was even cut! I knew much more about Iran that most of my classmates being an AP student and our stupid-ass CIA thought it a good idea settle some of the Shah’s top men from his dreaded, blood-thirsty Security Police called Savak, in our shitty little all-white inner-ring suburb, hoping no one would notice and that they’d blend in and none would be the wiser.
Umm, we noticed, they all smelled like goat shit and all of these Savak offspring were in all of my AP classes and out-performing all of us, but we had better weed, women, as well as Annie Greensprings, MadDog 20/20, Firebirds and Trans Ams.
They had Beamers and brains, the little fuqrs!
Score that major error to President Carter who should have sacrificed those 52 hostages and just blew Tehran the fuq up after the rescue attempt failed; the Caspian Beluga Caviar (which I really like and tastes like chicken!) market would have recovered nicely, the Peacock Throne would have melted from the nuclear blasts, and everyone who came afterward would have thought twice about fuqing with the US.
<–These hella-hairy bitches are hella-sexy in Hefty and Muslim dudes order their women to wear this hella-sexy-ass shit not to prevent Western Infidels from getting all horned up, but to keep other Muslim guys tired of Romancing the Goat, so to speak, from going after them and their hairy, sexy-ass shit!
The Qu’ran says nothing about Hefty Bags on one’s old lady though!
Now we’re on the verge of a new treaty that does nothing but empower Iran and gives it 15 years to try to thwart Israeli abilities to mess with Iran’s 7th Century camel shit fueled rocket guidance systems and return whatever they launch from Iran, right back on the little fuqrs in Tehran!
They released the hostages as Reagan was sworn in, fearing he would level their country and it would still be nuclear glowing today, 36 years later, and that day was also the very last time anyone feared the United States.
<–To save time, I’ve already ordered a Fatwah against this group, StalinsMustache.org, for showing these exposed, just mowed Islamic Ladies beefy gams, over at BurqaWorld next to the Premium Outlet Mall in Las Vegas!
It’ll be a double-Fatwah if that 4th bitch from the right is wearing coolots…again!
Fast-forward under Reagan as the Soviets were getting their asses kicked in Afghanistan, Olympics were boycotted but we won Hockey Gold and four years later Marylou Retton showed us her lil twat & no tits body and an asshole named Rep Charlie Wilson, a stupid fuqr from the US House via Texas, would take it upon himself to do US Foreign Policy all by himself and arranged for these little fuqrs in Afghanistan called the Muhajadeen, to get a shitload of US SAMs–Surface to Air Missiles–which can be fired from any camel-jockey’s shoulder and if kept cleaned, can last just about forever we would learn when another little fuqr who was nine feet tall and lugging behind him a kidney dialysis machine, named Osama bin Laden, of the richest and wealthiest non-royal billionaire Saudi Wahhabi bin Laden family, and who President Bush 43, after his nation was just attacked on 9/11/2001 by the bin Laden boy’s Al Quida boys, arranged for all of them here to leave the US in secured, Air Force escorted air lanes into international territory and far the fuq away from here!
One can clearly see where the Conspiracy Nutz get their fuel from.
Fast forward again to when all US Intelligence pointed to bin Laden exiting Afghanistan from Tora Bora in his caravan of camels and still lugging his dialysis machine too, President Wannabe Dick Chaney neglected to inform President Bush so as to have continued ‘good reason’ to invade Iraq for embarrassing his buddy Bush 41. Thousands of lives lost, trillions spent, was Chaney tried and executed for Treason? Nope, the worst that would befall that little fuqr was that his other buddy Scooter Libby would not get a presidential pardon for his bullshit.
<–I won the Pulitzer again in 2011 for publishing this exclusive pic of bin Laden’s stinky-ass sandal floating to the surface after the US Navy buried his stinky, sorry-ass at sea, his becoming Shark Chow ‘cept for this sole sandal, of course!
They also buried him with his dialysis machine and his favorite camel, ‘Huey’, which were both found on the Indian Ocean floor this year by teams looking for that Malaysian jumbo-jet that disappeared!
Fast forward one last time and although President Obama gets the kudos for wasting Dialysis Boy, but Obama and then Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s benign neglect, allows for an off-shoot, splinter group calling themselves Islamic State of Iraq and al Sham to begin to coalesce. Obama, not wanting to impart ‘legitimacy of State’ to them, changes their name for them to Islamic State of Iraq and Levant. Levant being an old Hebrew word even old Hebrews don’t remember, for the desert area including present day Syria and Iraq, again so as not to impart ‘legitimacy of State’ upon this whack-ass group even Al Quida disowned, calling them extreme!
This is how fuqd up and clueless Obama really is; he changes their name for them, but continues with their new Obama-divined name, the use of the word ‘State’ in their new name he just made up and thus, kind of shit-canning that ‘legitimacy of State’ fake-assed argument he used to change their name for them in the first place!
…and we elected him twice! Woodrow Wilson is suddenly looking a whole helluva lot better to historians today! Dammit!
These savage ISIS/ISIL little mother fuqrs care about nothing, blowing up World Heritage Sites like Palmyra in Syria–and where Rita and Bob honeymooned, I think—and one year shy of a century of European arbitrary borders imposed by Britain & France across the region, 2016–that would be next year folks–looks to be a disaster of unimaginable consequences for the entire planet thanks to President Obama’s really needing a treaty (just like Wilson that little fuqr!) this time with Iran, rather than extinguishing these little bastards in La La Levantland!
14 years later, we gave up our Civil Liberties for the unconstitutional Patriot Act disaster both parties supported, and Harry Reid’s very worst legacy, we still waste tens of billions on Homeland Security, and we’re not any safer and these ISIS/ISIL guys can’t depend on American servicemen on European trains, intercepting them for us.
<…and they’re here, in the US too, and they look like you and me! They defy ‘profiling’ too, which if you’ll remember it was President Bush who shook his finger at us and told us how wrong it was to ‘profile’ Muslims, and then Sharpton and his crackpot crew picked up on that and changed he it to ‘racial profiling’.
All over the past 14 years! Oh, and Happy Birthday too Gene!
Let’s see next year, the centennial of the Sykes-Picot Agreement of 1916 secretly done then by two asshole diplomats, one British and one French, arbitrarily subdividing up the post Ottoman world between the two nations with borders that made no sense even then. They were the Charlie Wilsons & Dick Chaneys of their day doing British & French Foreign Policy all on their own and completely fuqing up the world we live in today!
Our Southern Nevada Counter Terrorism Center will have its work cut out for it next year thanks to our clueless president, two clueless diplomats 99 years ago, and Dick Chaney playing president when we could have wasted all of ISIS/ISIL’s and Al Quida’s current leadership with a few well-placed Smart Nukes on the trail leading out of Tora Bora and into Pakistan in the weeks after 9/11.
I’m concerned enough to write about it today, and you should be concerned about the forthcoming ISIS/ISIL attacks here on US soil too.
Thanks a lot Dick & Barack, you little fuqrs!