For Love of Sheldon Adelson!

Posted by Michael Zahara on Jun 28, 2017

Don’t call the paramedics, I’m fine.  Really, I am!

<—Fraternal twins Sheldon and Lucille!

OK, sure, this piece’s headline may cause concerns  from friends and foes alike for my physical and mental health status because I may have called Sheldon Adelson a schmegegge, Mrs Carmichael, an asshole, among other terms of endearment, but I also told you all that I have an idea to salve his bruised ego having lost everything he was trying to get for himself in the October 2016 Special Session which coincidentally also lost the Governor’s Mansion for Steve ‘Stadium Stevie’ Sisolak and Attorney General for ‘Bigoted Bougie Bastard’ Aaron Fraud Ford!

Thank you very much Sheldon for ending those two asshole losers for all of us here in SoNev!

never thought this would even be possible, but I am supporting Chris G againstStadium Stevie’ and will design and run her campaign for the Democratic nomination for NV Gov if I have to, to defeat that phony-ass little fuqr…if I don’t succeed in convincing Kate Marshall to enter the Gov’s race after she just became the latest victim of the Blind Old Bitch down in Searchlight/Hendersonstan who is supposed to be retired and cashing in his chips preparing to meet his Daddy, Satan, very soon according to my old friend Jesus, over breakfast cocktails the other day!

Kate honey, this is straight from His mouth, ‘Michael, my precious, precious dumb-ass, get Miss Marshall to church more often and I’ll get my Pops to intervene!

You read it right Ms Marshall, now get crackin’!

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<—OK, alright, pipe down back there cuz we’ve all had our Pervy Pity Fuqs and Michelle Laxalt was desperate I tell ‘ya, so damned desperate for dickshe fuqd this guy and more—-way more than that just one time as he’s claiming publicly!

Oh, btw, and Adam Domenici Laxalt will look just like him by 2020!

Show of hands here: Who ever imagined Michelle Laxalt had a Great-Great Grandpa perv?

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Chris G is what’s known as a ‘spoiler‘, unable to win statewide but very able to pull hundreds of millions from votes in Clark County in 2018 opening the door wide for Kate Marshall to be the Dem nominee against Adam Domenici, err, I mean Laxalt, whose Moms Michelle once had Happy Pants for the former truly icky GOP US Senator from New Mexico, Pete Domenici (R-Ewww, NM)

But Sheldon has purchased Adam whatever his surname really is, and who was really hoping hard for an old, decrepit Jewish Great-Great-Great Grandpa like Sheldon Adelson to adopt/buy him! He’s all good with being bought and paid for even though he’s being a stupid shit not defending the AG’s office since we love our AGs here to serve two terms so we can eyeball ’em up real good and see what all their bullshit is about!

Talk about Happy Pants running in the family!   Adam Laxalt Domenici is much too impatient and either has Happy Pants or Ants in his Pants jumping into the Gov race only two years out of high school!  Take a long cold shower Adam and run for re-election because you’re damaging your political Brand badly if you don’t!

The Anti-Gun Nutz will never stop shooting at him but you’ve got to ask how g*ddamn incompetent our very own LCB truly is by OK-ing the legislature passing a Nevada law which under Federalism, can’t be enforced because we have no way to compel the FBI to do this not cheap work for us!  

Dumb-ass Dems lead by the Dumb-ass DuoFord & Frierson Fuqs!

What I’m building to here is that Sheldon Adelson doesn’t have a track record of good decisions here in Las Vegastan, much less good strategic political maneuvering, and this whole Stevie Stadium Fiasco is just his latest fuq up! From the day he bought the old Sands, he threw his weight around so much here, he actually made Steve Wynn look good for a few hours here and thereeven to Jesus!—who still has issues with both men I’m not authorized by Him to talk about here!

<—-I was just fine with the Venetian and even the Sands Expo Center—that was until he built the Palazzo Poo Poo which depending on from which angle you’re looking at it from a distance, it kind of looks like a Wonka Gobstopper (left)or an old East German Butt Plug (right), which is why there are so many stinky-ass g*ddamn Germans hanging around there!

Of courseOfficer Ken Lopera will be found ‘Not Guilty’ of all charges because there is always a lot of Whack-ass, Crazy Shit Vegas happening at the corner of Sands and the Blvd!

Regular readers know my I.A.T.S.E. retired uncle work for 197 of his 40 years at the old Sands and I met Phyllis Diller and Joan Rivers in their dressing rooms there, and saw Miss Diller in near to her Birthday Suit in her Playtex 18-Hour one-piece Bra & Girdle Combo!

This piece has nothing to do with them although you can’t ‘un-see’ that shit!  Nor does it have anything to do with Andy Abboud who became my FB friend last year and who I haven’t yet met but hope to soon on his invite because I think he’s the only person Sheldon listens to though only a couple of times a year if he does! Andy’s from Nebraskastan and I fully support statehood for them now and will partner with him to achieve that very worthy goal if he’ll buy me lunch and listen to my pitch—-

Sidebar I:  Oh my, the indentured and shackled Research Kids in the back room sweatshop here at WatchdogWag Worldwide, tell me that Nebraskastan has already become a Territory!  We’re almost there for you Andy Abboud!

It should be noted that Andy was recently claiming his sainted mother took a spill and ‘purd near’ busted every bone in her body at an age somewhere safely over 50 years old!  I called ‘bullshit’ on that claim by Abboud because I think it was really another bar fight she was in again!

Sidebar II:  I’ve been waiting for over 10 years to be able to drop ‘purd near’kind of translates: ‘pretty near to’—into a piece here for you loyal readers, it being one of my favorites I’d picked up from retired Commissioner Tom Collins and that interesting kind of language he kind of speaks!)

Don’t mess with The Women of the Great Plains, especially from the Nebraskastan Territory where the 17 Democrats living there all had to resign their party posts the other day because, well, they’re Democrats in Blood Red Republican Nebraskastan Territory!

<—-Their licence plates have an Abboud Family-like Great Plains women named ‘Edna’ with a shotgun saying, ‘You wanna piece of ‘dis bitch, huh?’

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To begin, when the Flamingo opened after the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria did as our very first Indigenous Resorts, it was low to the ground and mysterious so you knew Bugsy Seigel had the Dick of Death and that he didn’t even know back then what an Edifice Complex was—not to be confused with an Oedipus Complex—which is distantly related and is in the right church, just the wrong pew for this story you’re being regaled with today!

Sidebar III:  My Tranny Assistant, Fancy Nancy Long Wong, not to be confused with Nancy Wong, who married the WONG GUY in Steve Seroka who just loves long walks in the park, puppies, pretty sunsets, and whackin’ off to Internet Porn, just handed me a note stating that Neena Laxalt, Adam’s Auntie Neena-Bear, is saying she wants me tomake it clear you little fuqr, that I had nothing to do with the Nina Indigenous Resort on the Stripor my sister fuqn Pete Domenici!  Ewwww, gross!’

Duly noted and included here Auntie Neena-Bear!

<—Still a smokin’ hot Basque Babe, Adam Laxalt’s Auntie Neena-Bear (left) in her Lobbyist Mug Shot picture taken in the lobby I guess, and who just had to vote for Ross Miller—-he of WWF chub-throwin’ fame on the Jumbo-tron!—-because her Thought-Bubble at the time allegedly said, ‘Ewwww gross!’ about Adam’s Pappy Pete doing’ her hella-horny sister all over Washington!

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At some time after Steve Wynn opened The Massage: A Happy Endings Resort! in 1989, every little fuqr who owned a casino suddenly had to build something new and upward. This malady has also been called Bob Stupak-itis whose lovely Stratosphere Slums has changed hands 1,647 times since it had a major fire during construction making its observation deck’s support legs as brittle as steel can be, a now unique to Las Vegastan construction technique sure to be duplicated at ‘Stevie’s Stadium’ when disgruntled local teachers, not having had a raise since the 70s and who are not dating students to even the scoreare expected to attempt to burn the g*dddamn thing to the ground multiple times!

Sheldon Adelson proceeded to build on every square inch of the old Sands footprint—-entirely too much shit on too little space—-and he now has 197,000 rooms and the most uncomfortable experience on the Las Vegas Strip today!  I’ve done the Expo Center many times for shows in town and needed sedation after each time, but its the Palazzo Butt Plug Experience which really disorients me!

I think I’m gonna need a very long weekend (Thur-Mon) fully comped suite and meal and drinks comps too to get over it Andy, see what you can do! Maybe we can see a show together and then you can tell me over dinner what the hell kind of psychedelic herbal supplements you were all taking at the time that project got green-lighted too!

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<—Las Vegas Sands Vice-President of Government Relations and Community Development, Andy Abboud!

I’ve been lobbying very hard to get myself a seat on their Bored Board and when I do, Andy’s getting a big fat raise, dammit!

I thought for sure that Las Vegas Sands would have seen very cheap opportunity to comp Boyd Gaming a few rooms and pick up now Resorts World’s 87 freakin’ acres still sitting there like a pile of shit, during the recession! But oh no, no one but me saw those 87 freakin’ acres as Sands Expo II/Sheldon the Experience?  I think Boyd would have taken $50 million and a couple of gondola rides to dump off what was supposed to be Echelon Place!  They go off and sell it to Genting for $350 million—-that’s still less than Sheldon and Miriam have laying around in their limo for when they hit the Wendy’s Drive-Thru—-and Genting wanted to build a g*ddamn Chinese-themed joint which is going over like Egg Rolls at a Seder now and you Sands guys can still get it cheap!

Sure, all those Chinese Whales want to fly over 400 hours to come here, and then dump all their money at a joint that looks like back home!  Genting, fire all your ‘Creative’ staff now or as King of Clark County, I’m firing you and taking your 87 acres back!

Dammit Andy, you’re supposed to be the smart one here and you can’t pick this parcel up for the boss on your way to Walgreens for some cold beers at lunch time?

<—LV Sun publisher and silver-spooned Progressive Extremist Bigot Brian Greenspun and his trusty sphincter, called Brian Jr!

Now, an idiot employee of Progressive Extremist supermarket-insert publisher Brian Greenspun wants to build a mall there according to the Las Vegas Sun Flyer—-and also, Kitty Litter and Pork Chops are on sale at Albertsons according to the flyer!  Nope, flyer writer Sir Thomas Moore—-who should know better—-this site is destine to become Sands Expo II! so get with the program!

S-EXpo II for short!

Sheldon and Andy, fellas, imagine wtf you two could do with 87 Strip facing acres to make Rossie have a shit attack!!!  You could have big shows like the CES and Dress Your Poodle Like a Gangsta Show getting the primo vendors coming over to your new S-EXpo II because LVCVA will always be poorly lit, too hot, too cold, too hard on the eyes, too hard on the feet, and too hard on the ass if you’re lucky enough to find one of its three chairs and that one bench—-its like being in a Turkish Prison being a non-aligned guest of a show at the LVCVA! 

It’s a horrible place!

Sheldon is land-locked and unable to expand now and when he did the East German Butt Plug Palazzo Poo Poo, he ruined everything for himself! But he goes off and buys for himself a jet, not an uncommon purchase for a bashful billionaire, but he already had 15 jets, and the one he bought was an Airbus A-340-500 currently reselling for about $150 mil, So I put it up on EBAY for him to help pay for the Resorts World parcel.  

Remember that this is the same guy who just ‘lost’ 4 billion bux one day!

Again, Shledon Adleson is not a prudent spender, however, I am and I think Las Vegas Sands buying the old Frontier frontier would delight his stockholders!  It gives him plenty of room to grow and satisfy his Edifice Complex….and crush his enemies at the LVCVA!

<—Sheldon needs much more floor space to put the LVCVA out of business once and for all and send this guy to the ass-kicking from his local Laborers members who pay him like a king to employ Cali guys instead of locals!

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But I want much, much more for my new friend Andy Abboud and soon-to-become best friend, Sheldon Adelson!  

I want them to buy up every remaining inch of Symphony Park to build their masterpiece:  Sheldon Tower:  a 1,500 ft tall cylindrical shaped, mixed-use, multi purpose skyscraper built above at least another 1 mil feet of convention center floor space and a mega-garage!  

<—-It’s gotta be green-glassed because that’s the color of money which is what is truly worshiped here in Las Vegastan and at the Adelson homestead!

I will also fully support a statue of me by the parking garage exit for coming up with this blockbuster idea!

Some local yokel decided to recently pitch town-homes on the remaining acreage down there and when you get to that point is when you have to pause and then think that its taken 17 freakin’ years for the City to develop these 61 acres and that means that someone has been throwing sand in the gears down there! We know that it couldn’t possibly be that nice Hebrew couple who’ve run City Hall/Haul since the Truman Administration, so since they’re both leaving, I’m blaming Betsy and Brad for everything and ordering everyone to just let it go and to move on!

The bruise-healing quality of these two dynamic ideas of mine is that at Symphony Park, you’ll always be able to look down at your dear friend’s original Golden Nugget and sneer at him even more than you do now!  I also want the City to just give to you the parcel—-contingent on a five year window to design, finance, and begin building—to get some tax-money generated and jobs flowing for our next mayor, your other dear friend, Shelley Berkley!

Down over at Sheldon’s Frontierland on the Boulevard, let’s dream BIG fellas! 3.5 million ft of Expo floor space, an aerial tram to the Sands I, mixed-use nirvana which is all the rage in Asia for mega-projects like this!

I know Andy’s taking copious notes and calling all of his fellow VPs right now trying to hire me and to get this project rolling and running because if Las Vegas Sands misses these two platinum proposal’s, that little fuqr Jim Murren is gonna snatch ’em up just to spite me!

As I said earlier in this piece to Kate Marshall, get crackin’ fellas, time is not your friend here!

 

Mike Zahara Siganture

Michael Zahara

A National Treasure!

6/28/2017

www.WatchdogWag.com