I’ve had family here for almost fifty years. I used to love coming to visit; I’d do so sometimes four or five times a year in my younger days.

When I moved here full time, I, like everyone else who came here from other places, was kind of slapped in the face about my misconceptions as a tourist and what the reality on the ground was all over the state.

But amazingly, for all of my observations and my public, political, and civic participation, wanna know the thing that bothers me the most?

No one has ever bothered to ask me for my vote!

I’m serious!

I know a lot of people in both parties, I go to events and I say hello to everyone, I’ve been doing GOP events recently to be better informed for my readers, and still no one has ever asked me for my vote in Nevada!

My ex, LaChandelier Tompkins, seen here at our Prom with just a little bit ‘o boobage hanging out the bottom; sadly, we eventually broke-up and I was devastated for months after she dumped me!

Perhaps they assume I’m voting for them having never missed an election since I was 18 years old.  I’m left feeling dateless for the Prom and that no one wants me to vote for them!

Well, the long streak of having never been asked in Nevada was broken recently, and he’s a Republican! More on him in a little bit.

Back home, that’s all anyone ever did was ask you for your vote—it’s nearly impossible not to vote for someone who politely asks you for it—regardless of yours or their party affiliation.

First, it’s just good manners because you’re asking me to fire someone and hire you. Second, it’s just good politics; we want you to work for our votes; we want you to value our votes and us!

We really do want you to ask us for our vote!  This is every one of all ages and all groups!

I’m all about making people better candidates because better candidates make better leaders. As excruciating as primaries may be, I’m also a big fan of them for the same reason!

And if I vote for you, I expect you to lead, dammit!

But first, you’ve got to get comfortable in public life and the best place to practice is with your own partisans.  Hell, they’ll forgive you just about anything and both parties have plenty of opportunities for you to practice in the safety of your own party’s bosom.

Some of you I’ve seen this season are about as animated as Mt Rushmore; you make Rory Reid look like the life of the party! I watched one person just sitting like a lump and as though they were sitting in a dirty diaper wishing they were anywhere else but there.

And you expect to get elected? You’re a public figure, people are always watching you. When they meet you, they are processing millions of things about you in a nanosecond because human instinct is driving that.

‘Is this person friend or foe?’, tops that processing list.

What neutralizes the potential negative?  A smile! The most disarming thing any of us does is smile!

I’m truly surprised at how few of you in either party smile or even look like you’re enjoying the experience!

Some politicians just have ‘it’ in their genetic makeup.  On the Dem side, no one touches Shelley Berkley, Oscar Goodman, and the very best public Dem, Bobby G. They all get ‘it’; they all know we love them and can turn on their public lives and then turn them off when they get home.

Bobby’s magnificence is that he comes into a room and Mrs G, who also is a big personality, goes off her way,and he says hello to everyone personally! He’ll small-talk, cocktail chatter, ask about so and so, and he’ll move on to the next person; everyone get a little bit of his time and people just freakin’ love that!

Think about it, wouldn’t you? He could be elected to any office in the state with that particular gift.

That’s what politics is!  It’s those one-on-one connections that gets and keeps votes; your signs, brochures, media, and consultants are way, way, way down the list.

All three are brilliant at the art of retail politics. Watch them but don’t copy any of them; find your own grooves and look like you want the office you’re running for dammit! Enthusiasm is contagious; we will jump on bandwagons in both parties; that said, none of us wants to see a bobble-headed, bubble-headed idiot. Have some fun with the experience of running and if you’re having a bad day, just excuse yourself and leave because everyone is seeing your bad day and negatively processing it too.

Don’t be a bobble-head or a bubble-head! Nobody wants to vote for a dipshit!

This is how I’ve coached it: Hello, my name is Michael Zahara, and I’m running for King of Clark County—I know you have a lot of choices and I respectfully ask that you give me your time to take a look at my positions to see if I’m worth your hiring me.  If you do, thank you for your vote, I appreciate it, and I will work hard to keep it… and please come out for Early Voting….

It’s conversant, duly respectful, and that’s going to get them to at least take a look and I promise you, to remember your name! Play around with what is comfortable for you to say!

Even if they hate your guts, they’re going to hate your guts much less for your asking politely!

You’ll get a lot of instant ‘yeses’ too.  Most are the real deal, the others are just being polite and non-committal—don’t take it personally because no one at partisan events wants to be rude to you, but at peoples’ homes when you’re out working your neighborhoods, they have no problem at all being rude.  I’ve had very rude naked people answer the door!

Avoid that if at all possible!

Get a tougher skin if you cry easily!  It’s part of the game to get doors slammed in your face, or told what an idiot you and your party are.

Oh, that Republican who broke the streak and asked me for my vote? That would be Rob Lauer who is running for Congress in CD03.

http://www.roblauer4congress.com/

He came into the room and did basically the same variation with me and everyone else individually of this:  ‘Hello, my name is Rob Lauer, I’m running for Congress, here’s my card, I’d appreciate you taking a look, and I’m asking for your vote… and if you like my positions, I would certainly appreciate your financial support as you know how expensive these races can be…’

Instantly, I sneezed, belched, coughed, farted, cried, sucked my thumb, and crapped in my pants—all at once—at actually being asked for my vote!

I was collapsed on the floor in a heap in the fetal position crying for about an hour.  They were tears of joy! Someone wanted me to take them to the Prom!

His timing was fortuitous too. I now live in CD03 but haven’t yet changed my registration and he caught me between two people I really like: Rep Dina Titus, who I busted my ass for in 2006; I have been both critical and flowing with praise of her—but I ‘get’ her; and Dr Joe Heck, who always remembers my name and always makes it a point to says hello and who is a doctor, an army Colonel, and a very nice man who I might even possibly enjoy a prostate exam by; I ‘get’ him too!

But, you just may stand a chance Mr Lauer.  For all their respective pluses in my book and my personally liking both; neither Representative Titus nor Dr Heck have ever bothered to ask me for my vote!

You did and I wanted you to know that as a voter, I really do appreciate that sir.

Mike Zahara
01192010
www.WatchdogWag.com

I’ll follow up soon with some handy tips for you guys too; it’s easier than it may seem, even if you’re a shy person by nature!