Posted by Mike Zahara on Feb 2, 2010
I waited a week before putting finger to keyboard on this one because I honestly don’t know that I have ever seen anything worse in 30 years at the game of politics…and that’s an awful lot of awful campaigns that I have seen come and go!
Let’s start with the Facebook page!:
And then there’s this incredibly narcissistic livery and logo:
I really love the Dem Donkey and I especially love that the Dem Donkey is kicking him in the head because I’m repressing that very same urge right now!
Really? ‘A Real Political Hero’? How’s that Mr West? What have you ever done for your community, or sacrificed, or volunteered for, or lead, or organized, or founded…anything?
You don’t even tell us if you have a job today!
Here’s the kicker: He claims to have learned it all from Professor Dina Titus! I know Dina pretty well and though political writing is a gift, if not an Art, I am confident that this alone would have gotten you an ‘F’ in her coursework!
Let’s skip past the Facebook right to the campaign webpage which is a visual catastrophe of unreadable gibberish:
Have you ever read anything more self-absorbed or self-indulgent from a 30 year old guy who apparently doesn’t have any accomplishments other than having had lunch with Sen David Parks and getting a couple of hundred votes last time around.
It’s so bad, it’s simply magnificent!
This is so bad that Al Gore released a statement saying he ‘regrets inventing the Internet’, after seeing this website!
Multiple font choices that are hurtful, if not harmful, to normal eyesight against a background that makes you think you’re watching a 3-D movie without the glasses!
‘I will fix the budget this session and not put it off until next.’
Using his Superhero powers to fix what 63 others and the state constitutional officers haven’t fixed in decades is rather ‘Marvel’ous of him isn’t it?
No, I’m serious, really, I am; he’s a comic book/cartoon geek too! This from me, a political geek!
It’s geek-on-geek hatin’ here!
Further in he tells us that he is a ‘true Political Scientist’! I swear to God, I’m not making this up!
I only wish I were that funny and creative!
Here’s a clue son: Always avoid ‘I and me’, in favor of ‘We and us’ in political & rhetorical writings; Professor Titus should have covered that on the first day of class. I’ll assume you were absent that day or doing bong rips in the back of the lecture hall with the others.
He states: ‘I will not let ego override my judgment.’
Let’s hope not because he’s exhausting an awful lot of ego on his website!
The newly opened Elizabeth Halverson foot exhibit at the RJC with editorial comment from a passerby!
Dude, no one in political life is a hero. Heroes run into burning buildings, or fly Apache helicopters, or join the Marines; they are selfless folks, missionaries, volunteers, or they rub Elizabeth Halverson’s feet…
Democratic Values: Love this too; typical idealistic kid (though 30 is very old age for a ‘kid’) talking typical party pabulum and not telling us anything at all. I’ll forgive him his flourishes here even though he believes them to be so good that he repeats them twice!
Education: I think the 2nd grade is where most of us launch our lives; I know both Lon and I did and I’m proud that I was a Hanna-Barbera cartoon addict at that age and doing little boy stuff like torturing my little brothers!
Lon’s comic book reading and cartoon watching is proudly presented as the root of his current Superhero powers citing GI-Joe, He-Man, and I think Barney as role models!
No really, I’m not kidding!
Back when I was a kid, GI-Joe was actually a foot tall, not the little vertically-challenged guy he is today, but both-sized Joes didn’t have something I have between my legs though my sister’s Barbie’s had boobies.
Damn, then a sharp pang of my liberal guilt hit me! He had a learning disability as a kid—at least between 2nd and 5th grade—and I did too!
Was I beating up a Special-Ed kid on my blog?
Am I making fun of a kid on the short monster truck bus?
Well, no I’m not.
This kind of narcissistic self-indulgence deserves lampooning because you can’t possibly lead anyone if your personal narrative doesn’t contain anything!
Mr Lon West Enwright, there are younger candidates than you this cycle who have produced much better campaign rhetoric, policy goals, and who aren’t Poli-Sci majors!
For a change of pace, I’d like you to think about your voters in your district rather than your exaggerated sense of self importance and tell me who’s going to come out to vote in your primary? Wouldn’t that be everyone between the ages of 40 and death? Aren’t you trying to take the seat of one of the most hands-on Assemblymen this state has produced in recent years? Do you know how many of those little old ladies in your district know him personally?
You do have a spectacular beard however and I suspect that you and Councilman Steve Wolfson do beard-buddy guy stuff together!
But you did tell us that you’re ‘a philosopher and a gladiator’! I have written tens of thousands of words for political people and made a lot of money doing so, but you’ve stumped me; I’m speechless really!
I’m getting a UFC/WWF-Buddha vibe wondering why I haven’t ever used those particular words!
I put on my Spiderman undies and am sitting with nothing on but them right now as I write this column; I’m trying to better understand this guy for my readers!
Lon, I know Sen David Parks and I’m sure you didn’t run this website past him because he would have taken his glasses off, reached for a very heavy file folder on his desk, and started beating you over the head with it had he read this crap before you published it.
Representative Titus said this of your website: ‘I’m not happy!’
Are you working, student loan debt issues, housing issues, mortgage problems, brothers and sisters, your folks, grandparents, anything about that woman you’re with on the site?…anything at all about what you see as issues in your neighborhood and what your neighbors and families are concerned about?
Or is it really all about just you?
Do you really think anyone wants to hear that your very first bill is going to be Cap and Trade??? Are you kidding us with the 3rd highest rate of unemployment, the worse economy in Nevada in 75 years, and the most arduous application for food stamps of all 50 states, for example, and you want to do Cap and Trade, first?
Know that I have archived your entire website for the Smithsonian for when you are elected President; hell, we elected George W Bush twice, why not you?
Your major problem is that before you were elected to AD18, you let us know that you’re a knucklehead instead of waiting like John Ensign and Kelvin Atkinson did until afterward, before we knew how dumb both are.
Both have trouble remembering their own names and where they live; neither could spell ‘cat’ even if you spotted them the ‘c’ and the‘t’!
And your site is so awful and your positions so unrelated to what anyone of any age group is going through today in your district, that you and it, deserve lampooning and derision.
I’m asking that all of my many friends and many readers in AD18 flush the three very qualified other candidates that I know of and elect Lon West in a landslide; I want someone entertaining to to write about for the next two years!
I love columns that write themselves!
Congratulations on your baptism by fire on the WatchdogWag.com Lon West Enwright for AD18…
…and future President of the United States!