web analytics

LVMPD Performed Well As Unified Team On NYE

Posted by Michael Zahara on Jan 7, 2016

Sheriff Lombardo LVMPD Motto 2016 Watchdogwag<–Sheriff Joe Lombardo (left) tucks in a plumb-tuckered out Undersheriff Kevin McMahill after NYE went off without an ISIS incident, but an OIS mess up and McMahill not having slept since August 27th, allowed for Lombardo to attempt to skip the LVMPD Traditional New Year’s Eve Night Bedtime Story!

that was until AS Todd Fasulo in his Footie Jammies he has trouble getting off in time to pee most nights (welcome to your 50s Mr AS, you may as well toss all of your button-flies too if they make them in your Portly size cuz I was forced to donate off 42 pair about 42 minutes after turning 50 and having to pee really badly but finding a new issue I hadn’t had before!) overheard and ran in spilling his hot cocoa and getting a spanking from Sheriff Lombardo right in front of new AS Tom Roberts who did a sympathy cry-a-long trying to fit in as the new guy, but Fasulo was stoic because Joe had Penthouse Forum from August of 1982 on deck for the boys!

That was some Damn Good Sheriffin’ with Joe Lombardo instinctively knowing to head straight for the 1982 Penthouse Archives too because I think had Larry Burns won, he’d have headed straight to the Playboy from April of 1978 as his top choice to read to ’em after revelers passed out.

Joe and the Mrs had their first New Year’s quickie as man and wife on his Lawn Boy Riding Mower displayed decoratively within his office suite 0n MLK!


ISIS BItch scares Me 2016 LVMPD<–Was I the only American saying and praying, Please Jesus, tell us this is a nice Presbyterian couple!’

These two crazy kids bled love from every hairy pore as they shot the fuq up San Bernadino, California which if you’ll recall, I had tried to advise you all was  rife with all kinds of bullshit going on down there.  Then after Mr & Mrs Muslim Maniac blew their nut all over the place down there, Sheriff Lombardo pulled his most inexplicable move as sheriff to date sending thousands of officers, along with NHP, I think, to the Cali border in response!

Above photo, like a Muslim Ivory Soap Girl and her ugly-ass dude, is the super scary-ass selfie which scared your Dawg cold as shit as well as every single Security Agency and Law Enforcement organization in our galaxy including each in Nevada, bcuz this bad boy pic is a game-changer very much like that last photo of Mohamed Atta was–‘member that ‘lil fuqr?–when all of us seeing it for the first time were saying to each other,

atta boy lvmpd 2016<–‘You guys mean that you couldn’t tell this ‘lil sonofabitch was gonna do way more than steal more peanuts in-flight pretending he was going to the bathroom?

I’d have won yet another Pulitzer for this present year had I stolen the Maniac’s Family Facebook shit first, dammit!

While within the photography itself, Mrs Muslim Maniac seems to be saying to her husband, ‘Criticize my under-cooking of your Hamburger Helper again and Imna reach down into your throat and pull up your balls for tomorrow’s dinner!

Whomever is doing their eyebrow threading can’t possibly be that cute little Latina girl down the street, so once that eyebrow assailant is identified and the rest of her fingers and hands chopped off to more accurately explain such shitty threading work, I’m declaring ‘Death to Infidel Eyebrow Threading Chickon behalf of the SoCal/San Bernie’ subdivision of their Cali Caliphate as well as a coupla Fatwahs for those Fuqrs too!

Crazy Ones 2016Her husband, though taller in the background because of the heels he’s got on, is in the subordinate position being directly behind and above her stinky asshole, her alluring eyes seems to be telling to me, ‘Imna waste you Jesus freakin’ ‘merkins as though Koranic Krackin’ Islamic women may now be designing some of these new ‘lil ISIS Crisis Moments of our Lives’!

That’s the game-changer, are Muslim women now being thought good and pious enough to move from being shrouded in their Hefty Bags along with the rest of the day’s garbage so that they may also now enjoy blowing themselves up and causing mayhem for freedom loving people not residing in the 7th Century?

They raised over 2 billion dollars in a couple of hours on this thing that they’re calling the Internet and I’ll look into all of that for you too.  The look of utter panic with a touch of ‘Oh Shit, I am Fuqd’ on President Obama’s new Grady from Sanford and Son face, and his now looking like Michele’s pervy Grand-Dad, may be somehow related to more and more facts coming to light from Europe that he and then Secretary of State Hillary Clinton weren’t engaged in ‘benign neglect’ as I had previously written, but were deliberately ignoring ISIS, the president blowing off scores of daily NSA Briefings specifically on the matter of this new, improved, empowered ISIS whose name he hated so much he just changed it for them to ISIL to put ’em down for good!

You go Barry ol’ boy!  By having no one in his Inner-circle of Dumb-Asses to explain to him the consequences of ignoring things he finds icky and unpleasant, he can lie to us with a straight face as he did for all of 2014-2015.  There are no teeth in his Climate Change Coloring Book,  the Iran deal is so pitiful and we don’t even get some free caviar but they get all their frozen assets back up-front too!

We are Gumming to Death our Economic Competitors, thanks again Barry!  We’re averaging 4,000 pages of brand new, never voted upon Federal Rules & Regs per week, every week, since about the fourth week in with this guy! And since 2012 and born in Florida, home of the nation’s very worst Pimp Mommas, began Obama’s National War On Cops!

fake assed Sybrina Fulton PR makeover 2015 WatchdogWag<–They have been trying for months to scrub the Net of my 2nd Favorite Florida Fraudster Female, St Sybrina of Vagina, but I’ve got it right here for you guys!

I also consulted with my own Birth Female asking her if/when I got popped, would she get for herself a Titty Tat and do a sexy ‘Come Fuq Me’ photo shoot too even though she’s pushin’ 80?

‘I already did it in September of 2012; I’m hedging my bets on you until the line changes at the WestGate Sportsbook!’

Relentless exposure of lifelong con-artist criminals like Florida’s Sybrina Fulton and Argentina Clarke will continue here unabated because it is a truism that fundamentally honest people act and react fundamentally honestly, those who are not, like these two sociopath sister psychopaths, do not.

lvmpd no arrest NYE 2016<–New Years Eve in Las Vegas and early cocktails at the Convent with this now former postulant who ain’t ever going to be a nun with those scrawny Nun Nubs so she being kinda bummed and disappointed, asked the sheriff to sign her little itty bitty titty and wish her luck testing for the next Academy instead and this chick named Donna threw the left hook which knocked the bitch out cold but no arrests because no crime was reported!

I’m being funny (hopefully, hysterically so too!) to mask the agonizing pain (get me that Laura Tabb bitch at CCDC Resort on the phone please!) for all the work that I did for that little fuqr in 2008 because now we will be dealing with ISIS threats probably for a generation or more–that’s 20+ years kids–unless we flush the PC use of our Military which now has some 900 operations on every inhabited continent today and in our 15th post 9-11 year now, Metro’s NYE performance the other night showed us our future and they did a really good job too!

The continued concerned and enhanced police presence will be evident at major upcoming events like Arbor Day and Flag Day when Flag and Tree huggers come into town in the dozens in good years prior, and just fuq this place up!

In the lead up to NYE,  Lombardo was dragging out of every dive bar saloon in town, any remaining vacationing LVMPDers, which included him for most of 2015 someone’s thought-bubble had said.  He snagged up Mayor Goodman who just loves this kind of shit and he’d been ordering residents of Earth to dare not bring a stroller, back pack, or an ugly date to the Strip and Carolyn is with him doing a little dance holding/rubbing her crotch like she needed to use the restroom badly!

So Sheriff Lombardo, being very gallant, asks of Mayor Goodman live,  ‘Did you need to use the Ladies Room ma’am?’

Joe Lombardo LVMPD Pussy Pleased NYE 2016She replied, Oh no darling, but you’re a doll Joe and that PIO bitch Carla is damn right about your phine ass Mr Sheriff Sugar Britches!

I’m just doing a little New Year’s dance for the really old fart fellas here Mr Sheriff because my pussy feels so goddamn good today sweetheart!’

For the record loyal readers, I just wanted you to know that I love living in Las Vegas!

San Bernadino spooked the Lombardo Team and they double down, bucked up, ordered another round of doubles, and line staff performed hauling in every fuqn Ayatollah from here to Laughlin but doing it nicely, just like they do during Bike Week!

CRIP Ayatollah Biker LVMPD 2016<–This CRIP, Bubba Ayatollah and his old lady SheaButter Kitty, were closely tracked all year by Metro UC units as they were selling moccasins, turquoise jewelry, and Navajo blankets back to those who once owned them and pawned them at their ‘Bubba Ayatollah’s Pawn Tent’ right outside of Laughlin!

Sooooo much could have gone wrong especially since the 17th and the Plan B-52 had it been needed on the fly, was at the ready with new Assistant Sheriff Tom Roberts to be blamed without his knowledge for everything, by everyone including Black Lives Matterif anyone fuqd up since he’s the dull not dim Mr Smarty Pants!

Out of habit, I was prepared to blame Douglas as I had done the previous 12 years in a row for everything from El Nino to Justin Bieber; Carolyn’s Coochie Conflagrations and Sybrina’s Titty Tat too!

Besides my having to covertly send Lt Larkin to a Thought Bubble Class refresher course coached by Dr Rick Cully, there were some other things that went wobbly if not wrong in 2015 we’ll get into soon, and though we would have liked to have seen and heard from him more, Undersheriff McMahill All-Star-performed all year running the joint and when it was time to step up especially in the 4th quarter and with time running out, Sheriff Lombardo didn’t surprise me, he delivered as he convinced me he had all of the Tools and Fools necessary on our very first meeting 25 months ago today, I think!

You folks looked competent out there, appeared confident without looking concerned or constipated. Almost all of you looked as though you actually knew one another and worked at the same joint.   Aware?  Oh yes you were!  Amped up? I couldn’t see that you were all too tightly wound up looking all night long for it too!

You were all performing for someone out there and that was me!  Oh, I mean us out there!  And for Kev and Joe and even me again!

NYE was a great Dress Rehearsal for our new reality here and now you people have to train us to develop out our Awareness Abilities and that is an agonizingly slow process taking us from Sun City Drapery Peekers, to ‘something’s not right here, this is what we saw!’

I’ve been on that for two years and throughout 2016 we’ll share what may be helpful for success!
Mike Zahara Siganture

A National Treasure!



Michael Z in Michael Kors McCarran 2 27 2016