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Captain Larry Burns Has Landed Safely!

Posted by Michael Zahara on Jan 20, 2016

It was good to hear Captain Larry Burns’ voice!

Proud Mikey 2015 WDW<–That’s me folks! Zahara is a Polish surname!

Most of ‘youse guys’ think I’m Italian given that I hold various Guido Guy cred, but I am barred by law from converting to Guidohood because I have an aversion to red-flocked wallpaper in anyone’s home!


Sooooo, Burns and Zahara meet privately for only our 4th meeting  since knowing one another and I’ve got to figure out how to return the favor he did for me reconnecting me and Lt Ron Williams from 2006!

Again, thank you for that Larry!

Burns and me were to have met up for post-election lunch last May but I had to cancel to get my Boob Job redone on the new Back Boobs and we weren’t able to reschedule until by chance, I caught him at home in Henderson in December of 2015 and we began our meeting up prep from there.  Being Zahara and Burns, planning for what was only our 4th meeting was required and Logistics proved our nemesis again as a state called Idaho–one of ten I’d never been to–slowed our reattempted meeting still in 2014 to early January 7, 2015.

Sidebar:  It was very important to me that Larry Burns and the Entire Burns Family landed safely and hopefully back here on Earth and he stated the obvious to future sheriff candidates I’d been saying for a long time:  If you’re a serious candidate for Clark County Sheriff, then don’t ever quit to run; exactly six people here, five of them suffering from Dementia, know you have to quit to accept the job…but only if you win.

Mike Zahara & Larry Burns LWV 2014Bank your time-off, salt away as much time as you can during the lead-up, scrupulously account for on-off time, and even audio/video record all interaction with Department apple-polishers acting unlawfully and unconstitutionally for any particular sheriff in all 17 counties, and you’ll remove their threats and intimidation built on quicksand foundations and here in Clark County, you’ll have ended ‘anointed’ without merit or substance, absent any management abilities, completely vacant leadership skills which forced onto voters twice, the very worst sheriff in Clark County history who should be indicted by a federal grand jury for the Harris Corporation fiasco alone, Douglas Gillespie.

USA Bogdan, we’re waiting!


He does miss his old job as an LVMPD Captain and Larry reported to me over this dinner that Sheriff Lombardo reneged or had forgotten about a promise the then sheriff-elect made to Burns and another in the same vein made to former Assistant Sheriff Ted Moody with same outcome, per the now exMrs Xiao/Lilly Moody in August and October of 2015.

I’m confident Sheriff Lombardo will pick up the phone and call Larry after reading this.

Numbnutz Ted Moody LVMPD best Pic<–I am sorry to report that Ted Moody did not recover from his Sheriff’s race; he walked out on his wife of 20 years and his teen aged son and divorced her blaming her for his loss.

Theodore, you’re an ass, and your now ex-wife had absolutely nothing at all to do with your loss, you big Jackass Jarhead!

Captain and Mrs Burns’ marriage is probably even stronger than it was and they got through the aftermath of 2014 together.

It would be dinner with he and Annie Burns and the kids at their Henderson home.  Lasagna no less too!  Of course I was going to be there!  Mrs Burns cooking after a 20 light-year journey ferrying one of their 8 to college in Idaho with no sign of Clown or Barber College materials laying around the house, I thought a good sign for the Junior Burns kid.  No Nevada Cop-to-be grand-kids, only a  a little girl destine to become the first Burns elected Sheriff and President of the Somewhat United States by then.

Calling-the-cops 2016 LVMPDThe spotless house (this can’t be Henderson where are the crumbs!) the lived in and loved in Knots Landing-like cul-de-sac house.  On most of the 8 kids I’d fail a Spot Quiz over Naming them right now and confident they’re all Biblical Names like Lexi’s!  I’m also sure that I curse too much though not even a ‘Gosh Dang’ farted outta me at their home or at our previous Calzones meeting where the KGB had spread the news of it occurring to everyone in the universe before I arrived home at its conclusion and former Mayor Shari Buck being the very first to say I ‘curse too much’ but she still inviting me to everything in Henderson for my introducing folks not living on Horse’s Patootie Pointe in NLV to the previous incarnations of Lurch Cherchio who I forgot to brief that the office he was running for wasn’t Mayor of NLV…or even Henderson.

Turns out the Burns Mormon Family of COH knows the Buck Mormon Family in NLV very well except the Mysterious Keith Buck who is still just a Neighborhood Treasure not in my National Stature, but Shari Buck moving up to Regional Treasure from Local with her A+ answer to me and burnishing my view that all LDSers knows the others ‘cept those trouble-making Sister Ex-Wivesand Tom Collins.

NLV Mayor Shari Buck 2016Det Tom Wagner Burns for Sheriff 2014 WatchdogWagMayor Buck and former LVMPD Detective Tom Wagner (left) were two I sent word to that my journey to the Burns House was successful and I asked Mrs Buck a question about Larry Burns and she Final Jeopardy answered it quite brilliantly and I will forward to the entire Burns Family that yes, Salt Lake City is the capital of Utah until Climate Change, Mormon Menopausal Maniacs, and Will Never Happen Faraday move it to St George where all the action is in Utah btw!

When I see Larry again, I’ll let him read her real response to my query to her.

I hadn’t met Mrs Annie Burns during the campaign and had fielded more queries about her and how she was holding up during an arduous campaign than anyone else in any of the 2014 campaigns for Clark County Sheriff.  I’d known of her as long as I’d known about Larry Burns and suspected I’d not yet met her because the Parole Board had turned her down but I can now say of Annie Burns, she’s a delight, she is very bright, and is a school teacher & apparent Lasagna Cook-off Grand Champion too; she lived up to her billing as everyone had promised to me!

Annie Burns Lasagna better than Lombardo and Italy 2016This Burns Nevada power couple have some idea that they are in fact, a power couple, in the very best sense of the phrase.  They know how to use power except how to get elected it would seem, and more than a year later, the entire Burns Menagerie has recovered from the 2014 Sheriff’s Race, especially Captain Larry  Burns who’d had his up and downs this past year and was very candid and specific with me about it too!

That’s more than half the battle right there and for all of the errors in his campaign, my very best impression of it was that he was enjoying every minute of it and especially seeing old friends and acquaintances for the entire length of it too!  As frustrating as that was to supporters who couldn’t keep him on anything resembling a schedule, it was pure, unspoiled Americana and something I rarely see anymore: The love for and personal connection with people you’re inviting to come along with you and your campaign, and which should be a part of any campaign for any office in America.

It was magical for me to witness and revived a sometimes too cynical me too!

Larry Burns Buddy 2016I kid him because we love this guy who’s is in-demand everywhere around the world being so tall to help people far and wide to reach for the stuff on the really high Shelves of their Lives and thus reaching their maximum potential by him doing so for the Greater Good of Us All and I’m sorry readers, but he asked my thoughts and I told him he should:

1.   Pick-up a breakfast, lunch, or dinner food and bar check more often!

2.  Figure out how to get for me a Galapagos Sea Turtle, and then figure out how to push the Galapagos Archipelago way back east from where it floated away from Ecuador while he was there being a Missionary as a kid and listening to Pink Floyd in the Southern Hemisphere

…and he was surprised I was aware about how devastating Pink Floyd has been to the entire Southern Hemisphere and that my imagination had him bringing that only so-so nation of Ecuador, its very first SWAT Team!

He was wearing a near-to-mint condition Dark Side of the Moon t-shirt and I recognize that it is a masterpiece and it’s within my own top ten of favorite albums too!

Captain Larry Burns LVMPD Pink Floyd Fan numero uno 2016Sorry to report guys, but I don’t want this Burns guy further stained by the sewage that is very often politics in America and I told him to go off and make his millions now–he being in his late 50s with only what? Sixty or seventy more years left and that time was no longer his friend on the money-making period of his life, though I do think I could put together his becoming a Dictator or Potentate Leader in some 3rd, 4th or 5th world nation needing a change in their Fearless Leader like my friends and partners in Blogging at WatchdogWag Worldwide from North Korea!

Larry and I can never budget enough time to talk about everything sooooo, because we sucked all of the oxygen and Lasagna smells from this corner of Henderson Nevada, look for the Obama Team to determine that our Earth is now Oxygen Deficient because he and I can’t shut up when we’re together.

We both like to talk, especially to one another!  I can honestly say that I have hundreds and hundreds of things to ask him because I want to learn how to see the world through his eyes because his own supporters couldn’t articulate for me what it is that they like about this guy so much, though he is not at all enigmatic.  I like him very much and felt ‘unusual’ being around him, but that wasn’t at all a bad thing or uncomfortable at all either and is quite pleasant and enjoyable too.  He has a depth and warmth which is all encompassing and 100% genuine and real, and I cant recall meeting a person over my entire life who possesses the particular gifts Captain Larry Burns has within his DNA.

John Oceguera Human Garbage CD04 Nevada<–Don’t ever cast a vote for this vile pile of Human Garbage who has a piece all to himself coming up on these threads soon!

For the record, given his spectacular campaign launch in November of 2013, (I’d never seen such a terrific effort in Nevada!) I thought he had it all set and was ready to go when I didn’t learn until the very end that that effort was put together by just he and Annie and Lexi Burns and he didn’t have his campaign manager at that point, so he launched first and did the campaign Back Office later and that proved fatal to his effort.  Helen Foley had no business attempting such a very tough task without experience or background, and former LVPPA honcho Dave Kallas could have and should have pulled out the win for Burns, but Dave has a big, huge potty mouth worse than my own and was out as a Senior Adviser very early on when the Potty Mouth issue should have been ‘talked about’ privately between Larry and Dave and with Dave taking a leave of absence from his job to run his very first campaign.

JoeLo LVMPD `12 31 2015Now Sheriff Lombardo wasn’t pleased I met with Burns in September of 2014 for those Calzones, he likely thinking that was treason or betrayal until I explained to him that no one on the Burns Team was preparing those huge waves of supporters for loss and my genuine concern was what could go wrong the morning after Lombardo’s victory within the Department.  It wasn’t in place for Larry on Labor Day and nothing they were doing had the Burns campaign in ascent on Columbus Day, and though we all knew it would be close, only I knew that there wasn’t time for Larry to recover.  

It would have been treason and betrayal had I not met with Larry and told him what he needed to do to guide his supporters to a gentler landing.

To their great credit, now Sheriff Lombardo and Captain Larry Burns ran the very best, cleanest race for this office in Department history and though disappointed, Burns’ supporters within Metro did not react negatively or at the expense of remaining professional despite their disappointment.

That’s the legacy and model for all to come in the future for the Office of Sheriff of Clark County and I am very proud of both men for making it happen and proud to know them both too for their commitment to run their races absent invective and the politics of personal destruction!

We are a better community and Metro is a better Department for the 2014 efforts of Joe Lombardo and Larry Burns and I’d like to thank both men for moving the chains, and turning a corner, and showing us that yes, it could be done and done well, and done without diving into the depths of the gutter and the sewer.

Bravo fellas and welcome back Larry, it was very good to see you sir!


Mike Zahara Siganture

Michael Zahara

A National Treasure!



michael Zahara