LVMPD Legend Sgt Norm Jahn

Posted by Michael Zahara on Apr 5, 2016

LVMPD 2018 Sheriff elect Norman JahnI finally figured he was immature and irreverent enough like me by now at about the five year point of knowing him since right after he was fired and came onto the Dawg and unloaded on me, but I deliberately hesitated and waited until 2/19/2016 to place my very first call to him and hear the voice of retired Metro Legend Sgt/Lt/Chief Norman Jahn.

The voice was strong, firm, and masculine, and possessing a Mid-westerners friendliness and candor.  It matched the mug in the lead-off pic here (above) and I’m very glad Norman Jahn is still with us today because I wasn’t kidding when I teased earlier that I was afraid for his life and that he might go berserk; it was that bad a crash landing for him at Metro, but a crash landing he was no passive by-stander within and his story is the best ‘Cop Crashes Own Career to Create Sixth not-so-great Lake’ story to come down the pike or the Soo in America in decades.

That it happened here, and happened when it did as USDOJ was coming in for the first time, post Rod Jett, post Trevon Cole, post Stanley Gibson, post so much other bullshit, makes the whole of Sgt Jahn’s story Best-Seller material potential.  I’ve pushed Norm to write from that very first day I think, but now I need the many Friends of Norm to assist me and who may read us both, because the little fuqr pushed back and blew me off on something I’ve been trying to get him to embrace for about half of the five years we’ve e-chatted almost every week and I’m writing about him today pretty confident I can bring my readers to my point of view about Norman and what he should attempt at this point of his retirement though he’s still not concerned about closure of his own storied career these almost five years later!

Trayvon & Ferguson ignited a fury within me because I saw from the very start what USDOJ was allowing to fester and metathesis because I am a political person and a very seasoned one too who had it not been for retired Commissioner Tom Collins making me into a national darling of my party’s Progressive Wing for 10 days by committing NVDEMS to a Fox News Debate in the lead-up to 2008, I’d have been very happy and content remaining behind the scenes and designing campaigns, strategy, and messaging for people I like and see qualities within them which I’d like to help them develop, as I did back home.  I never needed to take the bows or ham for the cameras; I was quite content earning a sterling reputation of ‘ignore Michael’s advice and counsel at your own peril’.

ann bounicore Zahara 4 1 2016Pointing out to Norman that after DOJ’s COPS effort here left town, all was in place for Obama, Holder, and Hate Group ‘Black Lives Matter’, to launch their outrageous, hyper-racist Obama’s National War on Cops after a poorly trained security guard killed Trayvon Martin in Orlando Florida and the Law Enforcement profession was not and is still not, countering anything these assholes are still pulling as our officers are being killed by ‘Black Lives Matters’ members’ intensive, sociopath hatreds.

Even by Washington’s lack of any standards, that USDOJ blew into town here in Las Vegas with their ultra feather-weight touch under the former Clark County Sheriff, then they pounced onto teeny-tiny shitty little Ferguson Missouri–a wasteland little Black majority suburb of St Louis for nearly 3 decades with about 21,000 folks and a minuscule fraction of the size of Las Vegas & Clark County whose cops had gained a level of national notoriety unloading some 600 rounds into one guy not long ago, to them killing a crack-addicted alcoholic in Stanley Gibson whose alleged ‘wife’ was using his Disability Benefits to buy more and more crack and malt liquor for herself and she then leaving him to wander the streets–not even a slap on the wrist for Las Vegas and Metro’s excesses and operational failures back then.

(Oh, and Mrs Gibson’s Media Lover, psycho Steven Sanson, star of the fake-ass flame throwing Veterans in Politics, a concerned group of one looking for Freebies for Free-loaders and sex stuff at fleabag motels, is running yet again, and this time as a Republican despite his having been everything other than Hillary’s piss boy and clitoral massager when her Blackberry isn’t working!

Crackberry circa 1892That Mrs Clinton was the very last American using a Blackberry was the super-charged recent revelation no one but me sees as hysterical?  Jaysus, even North Korea was saying ‘Wtf is with that bitch?’)

Main Justice slamming down hard with all the force within DOJ’s immense arsenal in Fergie is unfathomable today to those of us paying attention to what actually transpired within the marble halls of Main Justice in Washington and which was personally directed by racist now retired former AG Eric Holder and President Obama’s political operatives as the end of his presidency was on the horizon, and with little to nothing to show for it!

I hate when this happens Zahara 2016The DOJ and its former former Attorney General Eric Holder engaged in criminal conspiracy to ignite our nation in tiny Ferguson was deliberately launched into the stratosphere by their drenching the situation in rocket fuel stating ‘there wasn’t ‘enough’ evidence to indict’ thus exploding Ferguson and Urban America which was Holder and his DOJ’s top goal and targeted intention all along.  Done to build up street cred for Obama who has no record of ever having done a damn thing for Black urban America, much less anyone outside of America’s Black-American Pretentiousness Class of Civic Whiners and their Crybaby offspring.

Holder played political hit-man for Barack Obama’s sake and will likely lose his own life for doing so; that’s how messed up and politicized our Justice Department has become under Obama, that’s why Holder split so soon and the Shouting of Morons in Missouri trying to take the spot light away from Holder so his forthcoming assassins may forget what he’d done to an entire profession as Obama’s self-proclaimed ‘heat shield’.

And few are writing about this darkest time in American history and fully orchestrated by our current president, Barack Hussein Obama! One would think that someone from here would be able to articulate a strong, credible counterpoint-of-view and to call out the pimps and poseurs within Hate Group ‘Black Lives Matter’, and for what Holder and Obama thought important enough to nationalize there, but not here in Las Vegas?


Trib Crib GibNorman Jahn is a gifted writer when he’s not shooting at his former foes at Metro, he’s a seasoned, veteran officer, a not too ugly guy,(he actually looks perfect for TV, doesn’t he?) with a great speaking voice who is still missing the opportunity of a lifetime 2nd (or is it 9th?) career opportunity to step into that void, make a shitload of cash, and start to correct this shit out with facts by becoming a national media maven on the subject, in demand by the networks and cable giants, print media, and Social Media.  He took the first giant step and bought the domain name last month to begin to rebuild his brand and platform and to separate out from the Las Vegas Tribune which his current association with prevents him from going national because of how these arrangements work, and then he pulled off and pushed back on me after buying the domain citing some good excuses, but poor reasons and I need an assist from his friends, former colleagues, and readers to get a boot up his ass and it in gear and do this!!!

Our own five years of email-only back and forth is a book all by itself, his (mis)adventures throughout his professional life and his self-inflicted wounds including as he says, ‘getting fired for crossing the street’, shows his savvy with a very clever teaser drop-line that is technically true, but not at all accurate within the big, gigantic story of his own career and its demise–its a terrific story and a cautionary tale of mid-life crisis, a New York Times Best-Seller if he’s honest with himself as a writer and a copand I’ve offered many, many times to help him corral things and get this shit written and published without success. 

Norm Jahn is NYT caliber 2016His needing to vent and rant I thought when this began with us would fade, it has only eased and that’s cool, but it also helped me understand some of the things out on the street I was seeing, but not understanding as a civilian and I would tell him the dots he was connecting for me as I was recalling and visualizing his emailed words to me all this time. He came back to Metro when Wisconsin crapped-out and didn’t like what he was seeing, didn’t adjust to being subordinate to a number of officers; he wanted a fight with the Metro Machine and he got his wish granted in spades.

It was very tough for me to write that I would have had to fire him too given the facts I knew to be true when all was said and done, but something I hadn’t yet written but which he knows, had he not left Metro as an El-tee to go off to Cheesehead Land to be the Chief of Police of Dairy Cows, Beer Drinkers, & Packer fans, he’d have been in the the very top tier of candidates available to run for sheriff in 2014, he’s that good of an officer and superior street cop.

3 30 2016 Teddy WatchdogWagI really did offer my Sofa to Surf in 2012 to come back and run for sheriff in 2014 to help him get this out of his system and either win or move on to other endeavors!  He really did tell me just before my meeting Ted Moody that they were Academy room mates; I guess him thinking I wouldn’t be interested in that, though proving incredibly important to me background info about them both which helped me understand them both better too!

If I were sheriff at the time, he’d have gotten one last chance from me given his contribution to the Department–holding the title today of Grand Champion of Most Lifelines ever thrown to any officer by other officers of the LVMPD who were watching all of this happening and knowing he was toast if he didn’t pull back and retreat–and I’d have tossed the contract protocols and ordered him to take leave and get himself evaluated in an effort to get him hold his fire and retreat in a war he couldn’t possibly win, no contact with anyone while on leave, no ‘crossing any streets’ anywhere, no provocation, no calls even to his wife and daughter who also worked there too.

Mrs Jahn, who’s had a few back surgeries and is doing better today reports Norm and who I’ve wondered a time or two, how it was she hadn’t popped Norman herself and despite their living in one of the most God-forsaken places in Michigan, no not Detroit, but in the UP, the Upper Peninsula where Jesus once lost His Snow Shoes and where Lakes Michigan, Superior, and Huron converge…and my joking here Norman now directing through the SOO, steamship traffic on the Great Lakes,  Mrs Jahn has been submitted by me to the Pope himself and nominated for Sainthood when I met with him in Rome recently over shots and Chianti chasers!

2016 WatchdogWag Most beautiful woman in the world<–There’s Mother Theresa, and she’s all good, but she’s no Mrs Norman Jahn who has had to have had a lot of stress which is yet another reason Norman needs to write his memoir and redirect his public self right now for the benefit of his wife and kids and the historical record!

Back then, Norm desperately needed Metro Rehab and to get a hold of what was driving all of this and which was his anger at his own self for ever leaving in the first place and that’s what humanizes the entire sordid story and launches its Best Seller potential!  There’s not a guy in the world or within any profession who can’t relate to what drove Norm’s decision to leave Metro, and then his trying to reconcile that when he came back displeased at what he saw!

At the time, I joked that folks would leave their desks to take a piss for a few minutes and come back only to find everything had changed in a matter of minutes at the LVMPD.  USDOJ 2011 was a long overdue inevitability.

He believes I ‘sold-out’ in exchange for access to the LVMPD and that’s not true!  I have no access. The sharp-shooters are still on the roof anytime I drive down Alta, I’ve never been inside the Office of Sheriff because I haven’t been invited to do so, and one doesn’t just show up there uninvited though the sheriff and me are fine.

3 30 2016 smale v zaharaThe reason for a shift in focus here is because I really do understand that joint and its vice-grip on personnel’s hearts now, what it takes to win the office, how the voting public perceives and processes the Department, its mission and challenges, its retarded and still fumbling navigation of the Political Class here.  I know politics and I know how political people operate being one myself; everything political people do is entirely predictable given who they are and what their position is on the game board.

Person A is this, his public position on the matter is this, we know he will do this, and so we also extrapolate by knowing this about him, that the issue for him will either fall this way, or it will fall that way’; it sounds too simple to be true, but that’s the value of superior strategic formula and it saves tons of money and time by cutting out all of the bullshit cluttering candidate heads and creates a clearer picture of the paths to elective victory.  Know what your opponent will do regarding your candidacy, beat him to it, or respond or not having that info in your arsenal, and you’re going to defeat him…unless of course you’re Ted Moody and don’t listen to anyone about anything!

 Ted Moody LVMPD best Pic<–Ted, you little fuqr, we’re still waiting for you to come out of your self-imposed seclusion, so put your tits in a bra bro and come out and play!

Sidebar:  Lily Moody and I are planning on starting to date if Theodore doesn’t return home with the pack of Luckies he went to get at the gas station on the corner where my friend Carter is that entire company’s very best employee who will co-star in the upcoming work here about Awareness Abilities but me needing a Lucky Strike right now myself!

Mr Sheriff, Mrs Moody asked that I relay to you that she’d always warmly welcome your stopping by to say ‘hello’ at her salon and Chair One is yours if you need a trim up too!


It was Captain Larry Burns however who had reminded me when I went to his home for dinner earlier this year and Sgt Jahn’s writings came up about how LAPD’s Det Mark Furman’s own ascension to national TV commentary regular appearances stardom still today happened despite his fuq-ups with OJ who perhaps had he not fuqd that up, we’d have all been truly blessed and never have met any of the Kardashians!

Larry Burns Seniors United 2014<–That’s a very bright, sharp and funny observation from a Mormon guy in my rarely humble opinion!

…and check out Michele-a and Victoria (background left) checking his ass out too!

Final Warning Captain:  Sir, if you win the BC job, please be absolutely delighted about it and then decline to accept it because things are far worse down there and I’ve learned that you sir, are being set up to take the fall for far more than the Police Department by folks you know well and consider to be your friends!

If it weren’t for the fact that he’s kind of dead, which is very much like being sort of pregnant, I’d lobby Boulder City hard to hire Mrs Doubtfire instead! 

Boulder City new Police Chief Mrs Doubtfire<–That bitch would clean up all the bullshit down there, dontcha think?

Captain Burns, you’re now in the very same ‘be careful what you wish for’ stage like Norm was way back then, and you should take a pass on the hyper-dysfunction down there because leaders in Boulder City have been acting unlawfully for quite some time and a number of them are headed for prison!

…and not a soul in this state has even bothered to ask who it was who hired that Crazy Bitchand why!


Sgt Norm Jahn didn’t fuq anything up except his own career by going over to Wisconsin to be the Chief of a place with more cows than people and there are any number of people back home who would kick my ass if they knew I’ve spent five years now with a Packers fan yet too!

Oh Yeah Zahara WatchdogWag. 4 1 2016 AnBOh geez, I’d never live that down, but Norman Jahn was worth it to me, we both were completely fuqd up over Lt Walters suicide/murder and that’s why I’m still waiting for him to write anything at all positive at all about the LVMPD where despite expected and normal bumps along the way, is moving in the right direction with far less dysfunction which had at another time, brought the entire operation down and to its knees.

Norman, those kids out there on our streets need to hear sound and sage advice from an officer of your caliber, you have a duty to them sir despite your opinions about some of their superiors!

Norm Jahn constituents in WI long ago<–These dairy cow Packer fans were terribly unimpressed with then Chief Norman Jahn of Curds and Whey Wisconsin and kicked over a lantern in a shitty little barn on Chicago’s near SW Side and started The Great Chicago Fire in response!

They were so unimpressed with Norman cuz they’re cows and they don’t give a fuq, that they also started an even worse fire on the very same day in Wisconsin called The Great Peshtigo Fire which no one remembers because it was only covered by the Las Vegas Tribune whose reach extends only the length of Rolando’s arms!

Get yourself past yourself Norman, you’re a very gifted writer and let’s redo your Public Presentation of your writing platform and position yourself more nationally-oriented with the major PR assist you need not from a GOP firm, but rather from a Dem-oriented firm which can position you best in a Dem-saturated multi-media marketplace. You can still be part of Rolando’s Stable, but it has to be off of your own, owned platforms until a media giant bites and reels you into their portfolio.  You’re doing it directly the opposite way now and no major media will bite because they’re not ever going to lend their might and reach and thus elevate a tiny circulation tabloid platform owned by a guy with an even tinier agenda; that’s how this works.

No Shit and I agree!<—Oh Hell yes!  I’d want Norm Jahn at my side in any bar fight we may find ourselves in!

You have to stand on your own as ‘the brand’ you’ve been developing these past five years, and now is the time to pivot and to take off!  Get your feet wet in the Great Lakes’ Markets which include Detroit, Cleveland, Chicago, Milwaukee, the smaller Sheboygans, Muskegons,… and even Green Bays too!

(Please Jesus & his Daddy, forgive me for recommending Green Bay to anything other than wayward Sturgeon looking for a Bay!)

With the great gifts you possess Norman, help us dilute the toxic poison of ‘Black Lives Matter’ Hate Speech and misinformation manipulation attacking Law enforcement in America today seems a very good place to focus and begin your rise to national prominence–of our nation, not some other bunch of assholes like Canada Norm!–because of a failed president and his now former Attorney General who conspired to deliberately ignite America with lies and falsehoods to distract everyone about the president’s many documented failures these past eight years.

Hopefully, that will be more professionally satisfying to you than your current shooting at your former LVMPD enemies who may have forgotten to be careful what it was they had wished for today and with our stable of able commentators in very short supply nationwide, how is it these five years later, you’ve not stepped into that void and had the last laugh on all of us simply by engaging that big blob of tissue mass between your ears better, and to more fruitful, productive, and meaningful outcomes by inviting yourself to the National Table of Discussion and Discourse with those great gifts you have in your arsenal?

LVMPD Lt Karen Hughes 2016Your Metro venting has run its course Norm and you wouldn’t recognize much here except those ‘streets you’d been known to cross’ and I think your dear friend, retarded and retired Lt Karen Hughes (left), is now selling out of her car Mary Kaye Cosmetics and Briggs & Stratton Power Vibrators and marital aides to homeless women and local bag ladies, so her pink caddy should be easier for you to find too!


Mike Zahara Siganture

Michael Zahara

A National Treasure!