(Fill in the Blank) Can Suck My Dick!

Posted by Michael Zahara on Apr 24, 2016

Suzt ASuccalotsIt was the very best political line of 2012 I’d ever written for anyone, anywhere, in all of human history–Jesus H Christ didn’t get that level of my way with words, but for Rochelle-y Berkley’s failed 2012 US Senate bid even besting what I wrote for Imelda Marcos when her 40 million pair of shoes unraveled–thus depriving Filipino Drag Queens like herself and Cory Aquino, of looking their very best while lip-syncing Pat Benatar tunes way, way back when Black Lives didn’t Matter at all to people in the Philippines!

…and after all we had done for those little fuqrs!

Shelley-Berkley1<–What she should have been telling us by herself, in her own words, not with fake union actors, or fake audience members, was ‘I’m Shelley Berkley (left) and Dean Heller can suck my dick, he’s an asshole and here’s why…’  from WatchdogWag 11/11/2012

Shelley fuqd up badly not having any of Nevada or of herself in her own campaign–and trusting things to those DC Consultant-types whose heads are too far up their own asses to see the Polyp through the Poop!  How many times did I demand she fire her manager?  That would be 129,287 times all totaled!

Tranny meltdown Imperial Palace 2000Sidebar:  I was shocked I tell you, to learn that NVC04’s Susie Lee of Ruining Lucy’s Day, Nevadais not a South Korean Drag Queen (left, crazy bitch with a dick) as I had long suspected. Nope, she’s just a rich white bitch whose going to buy enough votes to destroy John Oceguara for us!  Thank you for that Susie!  Most of your voters will think you’re Susie Wong, or that you’re married to Mr Lee of Liquorland, Nevada!

How ‘delish that that bitch Emily and her List just up and dumped Lucy Flores after all the glory of the gory details of her abortion failed to ignite a groundswell of copycat abortions; whomever it was who suggested this seat to Ms Flores should be taken out back and shot right now!  Whomever did not follow my suggestion to lighten and soften her diesel-dyke motif to the pastels palate with her name in small case ala 2016 Marco Rubio, you are a no talent fuq up and don’t ‘get’ that her gorgeousness must be toned and tamped down!

nvcd04 buckster susie lee chee 2016If Susie Lee marries Thomas Chee as planned, she will become Susie Lee-Chee Chi-Chi  However, I think Michele-a’s Moms Lil, is throwing a chub for you now Lucy!  I love Lil and Michele’a and more on those two in a sec though!  I wonder if Lucy is now finally seeing that she would have cruised right into the CCBC seat Marilyn and Steve are coveting, neither being aware that there are a couple of Latinos out that way and that Black Lives Splatter in that part of the valley too and they are both Melanin Challenged!

Hey wait a minute!  Susie Lee stole Richard Cherchio’s mountains--that bitch!  I designed them for his first run for Mayor of NLV against Shari Buck, but who is still speaking to me and her father The Chiefis still a reader here since someone forgot to renew his Sports Illustrated last Christmas!  Mayor Buck was the Top Search here for three days in April and our sweatshop work crews on the North Korea Team don’t know why yet!

Mayor Buck would have been Crescent Hardy today had she listened to me!

Plural Wife Richard Cherchio 2015<–This refuge from Bingo promised to never again forget to vote for the guy on the sign she must carry and wear around her neck as penance for once forgetting that there was an election!

The mountains in the background were stolen by the forgettable 2016 Susie Floozy campaign!

Then just this AM, I get an email from a guy claiming to be her son, Cory Lee–no picture of him or of alleged daughter ‘Nevie’–which is probably just as well since ‘Mommy ain’t ‘Nevie’ gonna be a Congress creature’ this campaign is sooooo bad, its good!

Why didn’t Flores shout to the media:  Emily’s List can suck my dick!   See how this works?  If she had said that to the media instead of pouting, she’d be a national sensation with folks saying to one another, Sure, Lucy’s race was only about her not ever going to be Mrs Ruben Kihuen, but that loco bitch Lucy can throw down hard and cut a bitch like Susie Floozy like a butcher!  That bad bitch is gonna fight for me and all my relatives to come here by cutting in line in front of everyone else and then demanding Special Treatment  fosho!

All 137 Latino votes expected to be  cast in June in Clark County would be Lucy’s!!!  But then her boy Bad Boy Bernie, who she calls her ‘Little Schnitzel Hebrew Pimp Poppa’, left for her over $400.000 in shekels on the nightstand with all the cigarette burns which is also my favorite memory of the Riviera too, and a hand written note he left for her as she was snoring saying simply, ‘Dearest Puta–Thanks for last night baby, not everyone could get so hot and horny over an old guy like you can!  Baby, you made me feel like an 86 year old again, and I am so grateful to you for returning my manhood to its semi-flaccid state!  PS:  I will name you Secretary of Love!  oxoxo Your half-hard Salami, B!

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**WatchdogWag Exclusive** The Shocking Pictures Too Revolting To Keep Anything Down.

Go ahead and just barf your fuqn heads off! That’s OK, I’ll wait!

Judge Conrad Hafen 4 21 2016<–Judge Conrad Hafen (left, chubby, chunky little fuqr throwin’ a chub under the bubbly!) enjoys and extra-greasy soak and bubble before court at the RJC one recent horrible day after grossing folks out down there again the day before at his Naked Yoga for Fat Fuqrs class over at the CCDC Resort across the street!

I thought we’d learned our lesson after T Art Richie was once accused of being two donuts shy of 600 lbs here while snickering at the late Big Betty H though actually crying inside for the lust he still has for her as former Chief Judge Jennifer Togliatti secretly longed for Judge Joe Bonventure by coyly telling to him  a couple hundred times a day in notes left for him all over the RJC and taped onto his back, ‘Janitor’s closet, you and me, naked now, no anal, no kissing, arm pits OK, but you know Joe, you can suck my dick!  Luv J’

Despite being related to those Trailer Trash ‘Tard Assholes, I really do like Judge Joe because he is so shy and chubby for an Italian guy who appears to have no Guido Mojo whatsoever, but who came up with the campaign device which was brilliant, very well considered and received across the political spectrum which is why he pulls Santa Claus-like numbers:  Jumbo. US Prime. Grade AAA, #1 Gilroy Garlic bulbs so big and firm, one could kill you with it should they smash it into your head!   I love this man so much, I’ve never written about him before today and I had a nice talk with him recently and tipped him that Chief Judge Barker thinks his ass looks too fat in his robes, so all of the judges are getting new, more flattering robesplush terrycloth in the pastels palette Lucy Flores flipped off–and which more cleverly disguises our esteemed judges who aren’t wearing a damn thing underneath them (Gonzalez, Zimmerman, Leavitt, Barker come to mind!)

In fact, I’m predicting right now, Judge Joe Bonaventure will beat Santa Claus in June because Santa’s a fuq like Susie Lee Chee to be!

That garlic was the talk of the once shitty and dull San Generro Feast where all Italians except Sicilians–who are known to other Italians as the Sicilians of Italy–came to bitch and moan until they saved enough S&H Green stamps to get themselves an Italian sheriff here instead of the new Proctor-Silex Blender they truly coveted!

Said Judge Joe Bonaventure to those fuqn Sicilians: ‘Hey Palermo, suck my Dick!’

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Harmony Letizia trying to save Conrad Hafen 4 21 2016<–Girl Scout Jr Cadet, almost 14 year old Harmony Letizia (left, dumpster diving for fatted Hafen carrion) spotted a butt nekked Judge Conrad Hafen being sucked by gravity down the drain hole of his dumpster’s Jacuzzi and dove her skinny ass right it too– almost dying herself from the sight of too much Conrad for any one person!

That was Amy Chellini ordering from Wal Mart’s Hit-man aisle, the hit on Harmony Letezia for all of us and earning my affection and instant endorsement straight out and that of Seniors United with Jerry Johnson now heading back toward the Pearly Gates since his leaving them for the Alter of Ted in 2014!

I like Ms Chellini cuz she’s not a Wienie and she and Connie the Crappy Judge and Phung the Former Moose Fuqr, have the most exciting race in Nevada history this year and I’ll be writing about what a total fuq Conrad is, how Ms Jefferson (don’t ever call her Weezie btw!) was allegedly Phunging Moose Arberry,  who my own eyes saw just whuppin’ the shit out of him just outside of Canyon Gate Country Club when that little fuqr told us he was living in the ‘jects and barely getting by on the Moose Dick Fees Judge Ann Zimmerman was paying to him to rub her feet after Big Betty H up and died on us and freeing up some of Moose’s time to engage in more and better corruption!

Said Morse Arberry to the entire system he holds in such contempt though still not in prison today, ‘Hey Clark County, suck my Dick bitch‘…and there was Zimmerman and so many others lining to slurp it up…Oy!

Then Harmony told me she wants to be a Clark County Judge, isn’t that just freakin’ adorable? 

Malibu Stacy must have a new Beach-house for Bong Rips cuz Harmony honey, you have to have had your first period, lose your virginity, finish high school, become a Disney teen star and shit before you can become a Clark County judge little lady!

Said Ms Letizia in response to WatchdogWag’s suggestion, ‘Suck my Dick Mr WatchdogWag, you little fuqr!

Said my Thought Bubble floating over my head in response, ‘All that was missing when we met was the little barrettes and bows in your hair (unless you had them on your pubes if they’ve even  come in yet!) and patent leather flats declaring that you’re on your way to church to get yourself all Jesus-ed up!  

Your big, giant, enormous head–which along with China’s Great Wall, can be seen from Saturn with the naked Saturnian eye–has your groovy in a Greg and Marsha kind of way, First Holy Communion hairstyle–which I would take your Great Clips bitch, then rip her arm off of her torso, and beat her to death with it if I were you–because she sank your whole 2016 multi-billion dollar effort and your A-Frames out there have caused 2,487 Traffic Fatalities in Clark County just this past week as our beloved local drivers, already talking, texting, belching, farting, printing, Hieroglyphic-ing, and malt-liquoring behind the wheel here, then their slamming into busloads of nuns, crippled kids, and Jerry’s Kid’s distracted not by their very cool Hieroglyphic-ing while driving, but by your big giant head which they think is the new Planet Pluto that little fuqr found recently, not that old shitty Pluto every has in their junk drawer, and that they’ve therefore failed Science again dammit, and won’t ever be graduating UNLV as more than half of them today had resigned themselves to carrying that particular shame and burden while they’re still embryos!

Even Jesus can''t believe how shitty Harmony Letizia campaign is<–I blew a call into my boy Jesus and asked His take on 14 year old Harmony Letizia’s campaign!

He said nothing and buried His face in His hand!  That can’t be a good thing!

Harmony, your Pop is a Putz!  he did truly awful work for Carolyn Goodman but scored a homer in San Antonio which no one gives a rat’s ass about and they aren’t aware its a small town in Vermont, I think!  You are his little girl though, and Jesus Christ, he sure made you look like a little Junior Miss Lady CRIP with a juvenile photo of you spread all over the county like a plague!  He had you wearing leotards at Judge Baucum’s bash proving outright that he really is a ‘tard!  You needed to look mature, experienced, bitter and ravaged by time like Judge Gonzalez who is the most insufferable pain-in-the g*ddamn ass currently serving as a fake-ass Latino White Bitch today!

You should have told him, ‘Daddy, suck my Dick!’  Had you done that, you’d maybe have a chance this time out!

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 erv the perv watchdogwag 2016<– NV Senate District 06 fat fuqr, Erv the Perv Nelson!

Thank you for the campaign swag Mr Nelson–interesting tact you’re using to distract your voters from the fact that you are a complete and total fuq who should never again be elected to anything ever again!

I’d have never in a million years thought to do the Nudie Nelson Campaign myself!

She had been ‘accidentally’ bumping in to me since the first of the year.  

Our meeting for ‘coffee dates‘ hosted by others was the cover which was blown because we’d been ‘seen together’ exchanging glances, but we were no Strangers in the Night!

Vicky AD34This was in the 8AM hour, though we told to each other how damn fine the other looked when neither of us have ever looked good at 8AM ever in our entire lives! We’re both supporting Danny Tarkanian though we both have good friends running in CD03 and we both were placed into an impossible situation with fellow gal pal, Michele Fiore who’s hooked her wagon to the most unworthy of people and causes who deserve derision and disdain from all 321 million of the rest of us Americans.

We both said simultaneously to the other what Michele-a’s next conquest will be be and I even firmly stated her compensation and duties and what she would find unpleasant about it pretty early in the next game that she enters after she loses CD03 in November!  It’s tough to watch a good friend fuq up, but Fiore has had many former lives and still has too many parasitic people leeching the life right out of her she has to learn to cut-off and cut out of her life!

Victoria’s 2016 outdoor media is unworthy of her and equally unflattering with the mountains in the background though no mountain has ever cast a vote here.  I hate the new hair which makes her look like she just got out of bed, loved the old style of only two years ago which made her look like she was jumping into bed, and someone even posed her with her arms crossed over her boobage when this is Las Vegas and if you got ’em, you share ’em with your voters, not cover ’em up!

brilliant intro mediaShe smarter and much more savvy than her own 2016 ‘people’ who worship the ground I walk on, of course, but who I wouldn’t hire to run my biggest enemy’s campaign because they’re really a bunch of total fuqs who take zero time and effort to assess their own candidate’s pluses and minuses!  They famously took one of the most beautiful women–both inside and out–in this state and crashed her campaign jalopy into the side of Mt Reagan three fuqn times in a row when all she needed was a refresh, rebrand, and redirect!  

I gave to Victoria Seaman specific advice on how to ensure her own ‘people’ don’t fuq things up for her as they’d proven they can do so well destroying Sue Lowden’s brand here three fuqn times in a row and to tell Ryan to ‘Suck her Dick’, if he or anyone else gives her any blow back!

Erv Nelson, you are a lying. cheating, douche-bag piece of shit little fuqr and you can suck my dick because I plan to be firing at you and all of the other assholes who sold your souls and passed Margins 2.0 and so that Brian Sandoval enjoys the lamest of Lame Duck sessions over his final two years and can’t ever again pull the bullshit he pulled on Nevada taxpayers who had rejected the same scheme in the 80% just months before ruining a GOP Majority for the first time in over 80 years which could have undone the horrific damage Dems have done to this state under Govs Miller. Guinn, Gibbons, and now Sandoval, but who all folded fearing raising the world’d lowest Gaming taxes here, the only reason the Sandoval effort was introduced in the first place!

Mike Zahara Siganture

Michael Zahara

A National Treasure!

04/25/2016

www.WatchdogWag,com