I Like Tough Broad & Bad-Ass Qualities In A Candidate

Posted by Michael Zahara on Jun 1, 2016

Nevada’s old License Plated state motto:  ‘The Silver State’ (yawn, sigh, stretch, nod-off behind the wheel…)

Nevada’s new License Plated state motto‘We Really Are a Bunch of Complete, Total Fuqs!’

Earlier this year, I wrote something nice one day on Facebook where unsuspecting people had forgotten to expect that out of me from time to time and especially because most of humanity isn’t even aware that we know one another…yet!

USA today WatchdogWag 2016<–Facebook, where everyone is require by law to be ‘nice’ and to ‘Like’ shit about the shit other people are posting about shit we’re all supposed to give a shit about and just ‘Like’ it, dammit

I really meant what I posted too!

‘…‘Sgt, I wanted you to know that I appreciate you…and that I also assume it was really slim-pickings when you put on your ‘husband-hunting work-boots’ determined to find yourself one of those big ol’ stinky man creatures you’d heard so much about once in a Playgirl blurb when you became their ardent devotee, reader and contributor way back in high school…and even then, and after a near-to-35 year courtship with the man creature you’d ‘Dolphin-safe captured’ in those fish-nets you would wear with those ‘husband-hunting work boots’ of yours, who knew way back then there’d be even more to come from you?…’

charlieTuna 2016 watchdogwag<–Thought-Bubbled a very miffed StarKist’s Charlie the Tuna of Orlando Falls, Florida, ‘Hey, what about me and some ‘Tuna Safe’ bullshit from you Tuna Hatin’ dolphin ass–kissin’ muthafuqrs!

Tuna Lives Matter too!

Sidebar:  What challenged me to request a Thought-Bubble from Mr Tuna?  Florida also changed their motto to a more realistic one for them:

Old Florida License Plated State Motto:  ‘The Sunshine State’ (yawn, sigh, stretch, nod-off behind the wheel…)

New Florida License Plated State Motto:  ‘Where America’s Complete, Total Fuqs Come to Die’

‘…’Ma-am, when looking back on this enormous, often intense Tom Clancy-ish page-turner husband hunting logistical effort of yours, where it should be noted that you could-have-been Mrs Sheriff spouse in Oregon County Missouri which Las Vegas Councilman Bob and Mrs Sarah Beers think they may have also heard of in passing, they being our foremost authorities about Oregon, its complex, heavy-pot smoking ancient cultures, and those two even teaching together an Advanced Classroom Program series about Oregonian Origami and we wonder why no one ever fuqn graduates from UNLV?…’

LVMPD Bad Ass Sgt Michele JotzThat posting by me was short, sweet, rather mysterious, ever-so-sightly fawning, admiring, spot on, and me in under-statement mode about LVMPD Patrol Sargent Michele Jotz!

Suddenly, FB erupted with not only Facebook required head-nodding agreement, but peppered with questions and commentary about ‘what’ the Good Sergeant could have possibly done to warrant a sincere, but I thought benign recognition, since I am hers and everyone else’s Superior Officer in my role as ‘King of Clark County’ and I’ve been aware of her daily efforts done here in Clark County and Las Vegas despite all the feedings, burpings, colicky, knock-a-g*ddamn-buzzard-off-a-shit truck-stinky-a ss-Hiroshima Power Shitz, mustardy-diaper-changings which the general public and all 5,000 employees of the  LVMPD had come to know about through her many Facebook postings!

And then to top that off, she had a baby too! 

Soooooo, besides she making the rank of Sargent and he still having to have her pin a note to his drawers each day lovingly reminding him that all Metro cops much wear both shoes and socks every day–underwear too since they super-enforce their No Commando Claus’ for our Patrol Officers, and all of their Pet Rescue Stuff and she having to assist her ‘he married his sorry ass way, way, way the fuq upward!’ husband who’s won Life’s Lottery twice now, that little fuqr, with his Spouse Burping and Diapering of him as well as their new baby whose parents I’m quite confident were BIG huge fans of the old ABC cop-like, PI’s in Disguise, Bruce Willis pretending to care while also pretending to know how to act, 1980’s show, ‘Moonlighting’!

<Freshly diapered LVMPD Sgt<–LVMPD’s DTAC Ofc Collin Jotz’s professional body-double, Lance Powder Me, (left) very kindly posed for this super-popular #1  for 2014 ranked pic!

Even with Colllin’s body-double, one can clearly see what is is and how much of it there really is, which attracted the now Sargent to the lucky bastard little fuqr!


There was a time when I ran into both Michele-a Hell-a Fiore and Michelle Jotz–ordinarily way too much 100% American woman for any one room here in  Las Vegas when poor, stinky-ass, hairy-assed Europe suffers having to view Angela Merkel and her saggy everything shit and then pretend that they’re enjoying it!   Not me though, and I looked to the heavens and silently thanked Jesus for His blessing unto me to be in the presence of these two political constellations orbiting Nevada.

I am cuckoo but not for these 2016 WatchdogWag<–Two constellations Mike? 

You’re surely saying that to yourselves while pretending to be working, and I support your right to pretend!

So we also truly appreciated the unique moment we all enjoyed but observers there weren’t sure wtf was going on seeing us together those some years ago!–and the three of us had a fun-filled nice little Jim Marsh inspired mutually beneficial chat together and to my surprise, I offered to then PO Jotz a very brief, sincere small bit of advice which she may have seen some value to her from taking it for a little test-drive to assess its value to her as she was about to begin her then new duties at LVPPA.

Non union print of Burns Banner LVPPA 2014<– The Kallas Palace!

Not one of my favorite unions in town at the time btw!

I do that with everyone that I like and who I see great political potential within them; I did that with now Sheriff Lombardo too who also took it for a test drive very early in his effort.  Offering advice or suggestion without explaining the results you’re attempting to achieve for them with that advice, is always, always, always just some asshole talking right out of his ass collecting an unearned check, which is also why the Consultant Class here is so damn exasperating for me to deal with.

I will definitively state today that the LVMPD’s now Sgt Michele Jotz’s imprimatur was all over the LVPPA but not in a big, sassy, brassy, splashy way–that’s just not her style of doing whatever it is that she’s doing–but in a much more sublime and effective ways helped to create the sturdy foundation for its biggest, most risky political move in its entire history:  Backing retired LVMPD Captain Larry Burns’ 2014 effort for Sheriff.

She endorsed, supported, and did some of the grunt work of his 2014 campaign and she handled her personal Facebook postings regarding the effort with the deft hand of a skilled political operative who had a horse in the race and topped with her professional life deference to all three of her LVMPD superiors in the race, freely acknowledging that regardless who won, she would still be subordinate to that person and would be accepting of it.

Cop Shop LVMPD WatchdogWag 2016<The Captain McDaris & Sgt Jotz Barbies and their brand new legit related fundraising swag will be available at the new ‘CopSHOP’ at LVMPD.com soon if I only knew someone over at Metro to pitch the idea and full concept too!

I don’t know about you, but I’m IKEA-camping out for months to be the first to own the new LVMPD Transitioning Todd Barbie part of this new Metro licensed swag  fundraising effort I’m considering as reigning King of Clark County!


Candidate Crafting and Enhancement is an art and a discipline, is a shitload of very necessary and sometimes brutally frank assessment of you the candidate first, and well before you decide to run.  Then trying out something new, or a different approach to the runway you’re wishing to land your campaign’s 747 on issue-by-issue…and this is very important: It is not ever a spend or die proposition for anyone at any level of public office.

When the term ‘bad ass’ crossed my Facebook screen regarding my post to Sgt Jotz, I was beaming on my side of the back and forth, devouring the repartee between she and her colleagues and friends who had noticed my post to her.  Though I knew of her before she knew of me, these respondents we’re in fact inviting me without their knowledge they were doing that, to assess if I had a bias issue because my perceiving Michele Jotz as being ‘bad ass’ was something which wouldn’t have entered my mind to come out of my mouth that day regarding ‘Collin’s old lady’ as she’s also known.

Lt Misty Pence LVMPD<–I called Canyon Ridge Cop Church and spoke to Pastor Harrison to see if calling her ‘bad-ass’ was cool, dangerously close to the devil, or an outright affront to God and his boy J-man?

His only reply was that this photo (left) was not of Metro Lt Misty Pence as I had published here some time back, though I’m pretty sure this isn’t Transitioning Todd, but I’ll ask him for ‘ya all!

Observing Sgt Jotz professionally maneuver within Metro, her marriage, her mutts, and her motherhood was something I’d been doing with regularity since after the 2006 Sheriff’s race but as her duties and responsibilities were changing, who and what Sergeant Michele Jots fundamentally is at her very center, at her very core, and what her values as a person among us are, and what it is that she values, and if it has changed at all, has only gotten better as all four progressed.

Collin’s old lady is definitely ‘bad ass’; she’s Biker Bitch Barbie Bad Ass really!

I wasn’t being biased or sexist regarding Michele Jotz, I just wasn’t giving to the term ‘bad-ass’, its also Ecclesiastical Props as a much broader declaratory statement about someone and their abilities, who within their own personal values, ethics, integrity, and ethics systems, are delivering results and performance within our community with few if anyone, recognizing or appreciating their efforts.

She has Built Brand in everything she’s done so far and she is one of several you’ll meet here this year who aren’t yet in elective public office, but who should be once the things and people in which she values most in her life grow and mature and new chapters or new adventures come into view!

Earlier this year, Ofc Collin Jotz getting past his fear of going down the toilet from his Poo-Poo Potty Chair when he flushed and makes all gone was a Jotz Family Milestone…and which pretty much took fuqn every fella on the force stopping over at their NLV spot to take themselves a good healthy Cop Crap and then call Michele’s old man into the bathroom to watch together as nothing happened to either them, as the poo-poo went ‘bye-bye’!

It’s how we men-folk bond, dammit! Flushing turds unites us!

LVMPD Collin Jotz 2016 <–Ofc Collin Jotz coming to the realization, as we all must do, that he enjoyed flushing the toilet way more than he feared falling into it and going bye-bye with little logs he was depositing there and him recently joining more than half of the force at the LVMPD who can go to the potty like a big boy now!

2016 Kevin Jotz for Sheriff<–Big brother running for Sheriff, Kevin Jotz of God-forsaken some damn place too close to Arkansas, MO… flat out rejected this campaign slogan/theme I just gave to his campaign as a ‘gift’ and not as a pre-incident bribe to help get me out of the hoosegow down there again:

‘No former AK Governors or US Presidents from Arkansas are allowed to Gubernatorial date, or Presidentially despoil Our Fine State’s females under Missouri Law they easily Compromise–those little fuqrs!Vote Kevin for a ‘lil bit of Heaven or I’ll sic my Sister-in-law on ‘ya tired, sorry asses, you little fuqrs!

But most impressive in Sergeant Jotz’s rise to fame and glory to me was her dragging by the scruff of his neck to the Starbux Rancho Area Command  across the street and then her just kicking the crap out of LVPMSA Lt John Faulis who I had reported here had managed to have the Pearly Gates reopened for him again for negotiating their new contract with the doors open, lights on, all hands where they can be seen, no nudity unless tastefully done full-frontal, and no one just laying around on the union’s bed again as he’d done for their current contract!

Sergeant Michele Jotz wants to become Chairwoman of the LVPMSAwhy the hell she’d want to do that, I have no clue, so I asked if this was some sort of latent postpartum depression manifestation of her tearful farewell to her big boy now, Collin’s Poo-Poo Potty Chair issues?

She hesitated, put her fist into her mouth and bit down hard fighting back the tears, I think, and said to me what Lucy Flores should have been saying to everyone this year, Suck my Dick Mike!’

Michele Jotz is enthusiastically endorsed here cuz I saw what Faulis looked like when she was done with him!

Michele Jotz is bad ass!

More endorsements up next!


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Michael Zahara

A National Treasure!



Michael Z in Michael Kors McCarran 2 27 2016