I’ve Decided To Invade Poland!

Posted by Michael Zahara on Sep 1, 2016

Yep, I have to do it!

Cima_da_Conegliano,_ 2016 WatchdogWag<—It’s like God Himself is directing me here; I feel Divinely Inspired toward this very worthy invasion goal!

Just so you all know, God looks nothing like this old fuqr!

September 1, 2016–todaymarked the 75th anniversary–of that little fuqr Adolph Hitler’s invasion of Poland which is scheduled to not be mentioned at all in any US school system this week cuz it’s a bummer!  Hitler told them that they were just stopping by for cake and coffee and wanted to hit up the Arby’s in Warsaw cuz they hadn’t yet expanded into Germany and the SS fellas really loved that Arby’s shit so much, especially that rainbow bullshit on that shit they still call ‘beef’ today! 

I ate at Arby’s once in high school and I still haven’t passed it and there’s an Arby’s turd somewhere still inside of me today!

Arby's Las Vegas 8 27 2016Tentatively, I’m calling it ‘The Polish Crusades’ though there’s no fuqn Muslims in Poland, no Syrian refugees, no Black Polacks, no Asian or Mexican Polacks, I think I’ve met an Irish Polack or two, and Italian Polacks are called ‘Sicilians’ when they’re not being called the ‘Sicilians of Italy’!

Those little Muslim refugee fuqrs are smart refusing to be resettled in Poland cuz there ain’t shit in Poland ‘cept a lot of Polacks and delish’ foods all of which gives you intense gas!  Nothing in Polish ‘cuisine’ spells at all like it sounds.  There’s just a bunch of consonants and a vowel or two here and there, and that’s it.

I am cuckoo but not for these 2016 WatchdogWagKqwdrocz:  Translates to ‘Cocoa Puffs’ in Polish!

Whatever happened to Lech Walesa?  Remember that little fuqr and Solidarity’ which I can actually say in Polish phonetically, its ‘Sol-id-dar-nosh’, which translates, ‘Please Stop Farting Stosh!

Too lazy today to split the screen and refresh my memory, I’m confident Lech Walesa died drunk on a bar stool at some corner tavern in Gdansk so I consider Poland open for conquest and where we’ll be sending all the Syrian refugees after I invade and all the little fuqrs who’ve been pissing me the fuq off this summer, will be going there too!

You’ll all thank me later cuz a leader and a National Treasure like myself, must make on-the-spot decisions like this!

Polish LIves Matter

I called the Polish Embassy in Washington and Uruguay answered the phone which is why you don’t want Polish Verizon phone service either.  I called to ask how to spell ‘North Las Vegas’ in Polish and the bitch hung up on me!  So I asked my neighbor, CCSD school bus driver Mrs Czhowpymkdwqakxsclowfuquski, as she was picking up kids on my block, and she said, ‘Fuq if I know, I’m a Polack too; you wanna beer honey?’  I asked because places like Auschwitz in Poland, really need some re-branding–their ‘What Happens In Auschwitz, Stays In Auschwitz!’ campaign really didn’t deliver the desired results–and if I’m going to invade, and since no one knows how to spell it correctly, I’ve changed Aucshwitz’s name to North Las Vegaswitz!   

Gotta nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

North Las Vegas Nevada is also now officially North Las Vegastan and the two Polish and US towns are now International Sister Cities!

Air Poland 2016<—‘Those stupid fuqrs can’t read a g*ddamn blueprint and completely fuqd up our 787- Polish Dreamliner!’, said Boeing Poland’s Senior Executive Vice-President of Excuses, known to everyone as ‘Stoshu’, after this sp-LOT Polish Dreamerliner landed at Houston Hobby instead of Bush Intercontinental last week!

I’ll be in Houston this fall trying to fix that shit for sp-LOT!

Both suffixes ‘witz’ and ‘stan’ translate to: ‘big, huge shitholes, run by complete total fuqs!’, so I think I have served Humanity well with the name changes as well as my impending ‘Polish Crusade’ cuz we need a new place to ship all those little fuqrs who just keep pissing me the fuq off this year!

I won’t be using bombs or armies or anything like that, no, I think I can kind of trick Poland into letting me take over cuz I just got the Press Release from The Polish National Space Agency & Discount Airline–sp-LOT which announced mankind’s first manned mission to the Sun!

Stashu & Yashu 2016<— Stashu and Yashu (Stanley and John) during break-time at sp-LOT Polish Mission Control in Houstonwitz Poland last week!

Silly me, worried about how they’re going to do that and not burn up, so I asked ‘Stoshu’, Poland’s National Spokesman, and he told me that they’ve worked on that for years before his little brother Yashu came up with the answer:

They’ll be going at night!  This dear readers, is the pure genius of my people!

So this invasion thing should be a relatively easy endeavor by me, I figured!

I’m a Transportation Dude and have lined up several hundred (thousand, really, so Shhhhhh!) Polish Dreamliners and ships–none are slave ships tho–cuz I’m revoking US citizenship for a whole bunch of little muthafuqrs, sending others for re-indoctrination and Civics Classes, I’m also sending 200 million Americans for Facebook Cult Deprogramming & Rehab, and a number in the tens of millions who just need the fuqn shit kicked out of them for wearing hair extensions, pajama bottoms in public, acrylic nails, too much make-up/too little clothes, Spandex and its inventors, Nike flip-flops with footie socks for church-going and getting married in, every annoying fuqr recording every fuqn second of their lives on their I-Phones, the Malt Liquor industry, California, North Dakota, and anyone wearing Man Buns ‘cept Christine Kramar’s kid up at UNR in Reno!

Free Baby Night Fenway 2016 B WatchdogWag<–Ohhhh, well looky-looky here Berna Rhodes Ford and Colin Kaepernick, look who got himself a Free Baby for pausing to respect those who shed their blood so you that you could both be the obnoxious, self-absorbed, and insufferable, annoying little bitches you’ve proven yourselves to be to everyone!

Ironically, Boston Red Sox slugger David Ortiz couldn’t hit a note with a baseball bat and he spared fans the travesty which is his singing anything!

Oh, and speaking of UNR, former UNR and current multi-millionaire SFO 49ers quarterback and complete total fuq, silver-spoon up his ass Colin Kaepernick who last year during a game against my Bears, called the Ref a ‘Fuckin’ Nigga’ and cost the 49ers another 15 yard penalty with his ignorant-ass mouth back then, will be surgically conjoined with Bougie-Bigot Berna Rhodes Ford for the special ‘Pretentious, Ig’nant-ass, Carnival Cruise’s ‘Bitching Bougie Bitches’ One-Way Only Cruise‘ to Gdansk. 

I’m expelling them forever from America for their stupid-ass shit, runnin’ their stupid -ass, ignorant-ass ghetto mouths instead of bowing their stupid-ass heads and bending their knees and thanking Him for how truly blessed and how good both these colossal assholes have it!

At my fundamental core, I am a Solution’s-Oriented National Treasure!  So, if two or more fuqn assholes are pissin’ you the fuq off like these two bigots frosted my ass this summer?

You are gone bitches!

meanwhile-in-poland<—Send me your nominees for Expulsion to Poland, and chances are, I’m going to agree with you and grant your wish under my dual powers as a National Treasure and King of Clark County! 

Go for it!

Then right out the USA’s door via the Port of Baltimore goes the entire Target Corporation, former AG Eric Holder, current AG Loretta Lynch, that little fuqr FBI Director James Comey–fuq it,the entire USDOJ and USDOE goes too–Chelsea Clinton, Bill and Hill, Barry & Michele, Congress, Joe Sacco, Donny & Marie, Black Lies Matter, Sybrina Fulton, Cliven Bundy, Jon Ralston, Argentina Clarke, Mike Blasky, multi-millionaire Socialist Bernie Sanders, Roberta Lange, Al Sharpton, Cher, MSNBC, FoxNews, Ovelinda Garcia, Brian Sandoval, Ryan Hamilton, Zach Zaragosa, Donald and Melania, Donald and Daisy, Dina Titus, Mickey and Minnie, Barbara Buckley, NPR, Celine Dion, Harry Reid, Elon Musk, Jovan Musk, and that little fuqr who cut me off  on Sahara the other day!

Angela-Merkel Trump 2017 Watchdogwag<–Tired of the refugees and all their bullshit in Germany, she said,

‘Hey bitches, Imna get all medieval on your sorry Syrian asses and order you little pussy bitches back home to shed your own blood for your own nation, you got that bitches?  Huh?

If you don’t get your shit outta here right now and go home, I’m fixin’ to begin WW-III after Zahara gets all those little fuqrs from coast-to-coast who are pissing him off over to Poland!’

After them, I’m sending all those g*ddamn Germans to North Las Vegaswitz Poland cuz you can’t tell me that little fuqr-ette, Chancellor Angela Merkel, ain’t hankerin’ for a World War as happens with Germans every now and again!  That whack-ass, crazy bitch presides over a nation which is now trying to figure out how to recognize some 60 fuqn different genders!

I kid you not, Google it!

That’s where all of America’s Tranny Troubles originated too.  Repressed, rigid societies like Germany and Japan have the most disgusting elephant-fuqn-a-hamster-type porn–NO, DO NOT GOOGLE THAT, cuz you can’t un-see that shit!  Japanese are fuqn psycho into Anime Porn which is cartoon nymphs and fairies bullshit fuqn like dogs in heat!

Tinkerbell doing Jap porn 2016<–Tinkerbell getting cartoon corn-holed for Japanese dick-rubbin’ teenage boys, dammit!

I was channeling my inner-Sheriff Lombardo–you know, getting my inner-Guido Guy goin’ strong cuz you can’t tell me he wasn’t smokin’ mad at FBI Director Fuq-up, James Comey’s Las Vegas bullshit since I was already volcanic since Target and their bigoted bullshit and am very pleased to announce that the BOYCOTT  OF TARGET IS WORKING, 2nd quarter profits sunk 8% and Christmas sales will be in the toilet for them too with all that merchandise arrived from China now and is in their DCs, there should be a Retail War especially on Electronics, just to sell that crap and get Target Trannies into their stores buying more than nail polish and tampons!

Fun Fact:  If it weren’t for Trannies, America’s pantyhose sales would have killed off 6 or 7 Chinese jobs and died cuz when is the last time you’ve seen a woman wearing any kind of hosiery?  Huh?

3 Stooges Little Fuqrs 2016I took a break after my July 3, 2016 masterpiece here so my head wouldn’t explode from the all the fuqn stupidity out there and began planning my Polish Crusades Invasion Campaign in earnest.  Inspired by our friend from back home, Matt Vesic who is Facebook’s ‘Keeper of the Stooges Flame’, I watched every single Three Stooges short I could get my hands on and I have to give a shout out to Curly of course, cuz that bald little fat fuqr always got the girl and had the Great Depression Dick of Death which is why he got the girl…plus, he could make a woman laugh and a whole lot of men too, which began all this Gender Identify Bullshit way back in the 1930’s when Moe, Curly & Larry were tearin’ up Vaudeville Houses in America while those little Hitler fuqrs in Germany were tearin’ up Europe!

bigots<—This is so damn true!  I’ve yet to meet a Progressive Bigot who even recognizes how repulsive and abhorrent the ignorant shit that comes out of their mouths truly is!

The are the very bane of the Body Politic in the United States; they are absolutely toxic to freedom loving people!

Conclusion:  We men love The Three Stooges because we want to do man-sex stuff with Curly, they do all sorts of Anger Mismanagement stuff together, they’re involved in a lot of felonious get rich quick schemes and scams generations before Tesla and Faraday discovered The Nevada Stooges in Governor Sandoval’s office and running North Las Vegastan, they’re on a constant mission to eat like kings, and despite being the three plug ugliest fuqrs, they were getting laid all over the place!

Their flicks served a dual purpose in relieving me of my desire to just start kickin’ the crap out of so many stupid-ass people out there this political season, and will now serve as the training materials for those helping me expel those same people to Poland after my Polish Crusades begin sometime very soon!

This was the number one song couples got married to in the 1970’s and I’ve chosen it as our Polish Crusades Theme Song to rally the troops as I expel all these triflin’ little fuqrs from the US!

Umm, where is Chinese Lives Matter protesting Carl Douglas lifting their Kung Fu 功夫  shit in 1974!  Huh?

After I concluded my Study of the Stooges, I embarked on the next phase of my preparation for my Polish Crusade last month:

Thanks to the good people at Soundboard, I also channeled my inner-Joe Pesci and I carefully studied each recording of his voice and his spirited use of bad words in case I had forgotten every single day of my life growing up alongside so many ItalianAmericans!

Italian Lives Matter 2016 watchdogwag<—I am soooo ready to kick some major ass and assholes the fuq outta America and send their sorry asses over to Poland!

Isn’t everyone ready to do this really?

I expect I may see Sheriff Lombardo again one day and expect his blessing for my efforts and him telling me,

‘Michael, paison, go with God and your inner-Guido my son, and thank you for putting that little fuqr, FBI Director James Comey, in that first grouping heading to Poland!

I’ve also ordered Assistant Sheriff Fasulo to put down that piece of cake and provide to you all of  the Guido-guy shit you should need which Metro can provide including police escort, SWAT protection, snipers, bad-asses, and indefinitely jailing any little fuqr who gives you any grief, gruff, or bullshit cuz I’ve sent him back to the CCDC Resort & Yoga Spa!

In the name of the Vito, the Guido, and the Holy Cannoli, Amen!’

ByeBye Bitches 2016 watchdogwagYou’re damn right, I fully expect 63 talking out of both sides of their mouths Nevada legislators to pass unanimously and enshrine into the NRS the threatening of any Peace Officer’s person or life to be a Class B felony with mandatory prison, no Cushy Conservation Camps, for anyone convicted under the statute!

I want to see our Progressive NVDEM Bigots try to squirm out of supporting THAT!  I want a roll-call vote–fail to bring it to the floor or kill it in Committee consider yourselves marked and in my sites and those of many, many others!

Liar in Chief Obama co opted BLM to help save his historical ass 2015After listening to Black Lies Matter chant in Chicago:  ‘What do we want?  Dead Cops!  When do we want it?  NOW!’ and our bigoted president and his ignorant-ass FBI Director Comey not saying a g*ddamn thing or declaring BLM the Hate Group that it is, especially after CNN muted the sound on its coverage of that March of Black Extortionate Bigots chant, how can anyone not stand with our officers?

My uncle and godfather was a cop for decades in an overwhelming Black-American suburb and there’s no Black Bigot Extortion/Black Lives Matter Ultra-Hate going on there today because those residents work with their LEO–the Po-leece–they are involved in and with their community, they know how to resolve issues face-to-face with their Patrol Officers and department and they don’t want their little ones shot up walking to school or their Grandma’s purse snatched!

You can’t have it both ways bitches.  It’s a two-way street cupcakes–always has been and always will be!  You want better, more livable communities?  Get off your asses, shut the TV off, and put the devices down and go over to your police station and begin that Journey of 1,000 Miles with that first step dumb-asses!

Bitches WatchdogWag 9 1 2016On national politics, we’ve got this dreadful choice because you all expect everyone else to do the routine maintenance which is required of all of us to make this 240 year old fragile experiment at all workable.   That requires of all of us to be at least somewhat reasonably informed, to ask questions, to know when we’re being bullshitted and soft-soaped, and if you didn’t understand the answer–that’s OK–continue asking questions and ask for more in-depth explanations.

Coming up soon, I’m going to teach you HOW TO bring yourself up to speed and get yourself informed by taking any issue of the day and deconstructing it and going backward to timeline it, thus bring you forward and current on the issue!  It takes a bit of time and effort, but anyone can do this!


I can deal with stupid people, I really can and am pretty good at that too; America is blessed with a lot of truly stupid fuqrs including yours truly a time or two…or three or four…and you know what, that’s OK, I’ll help them Carry their Cross, hell, I’ll carry the whole damn thing if that’s what I’m called to do because its not ever casual or passing with me, cuz if I love you or like you or care about you, that’s a Life Sentence where I come from and Heaven help the muthafuqrs who fuq with you and I’m around!  Conversely, it’s the ignorant-ass fuqrs we have far too many of which are the anchors on everything in this great land.

Ignorant-ass is when you’re smart enough to get your sorry-ass informed, knowledgeable, and in-the-know and you choose to continue to be an ignorant-ass!

Cuba-stan 2016 watchdogwag<–This is Cuba-stan and President Lincoln loved it so much, he wanted to buy it from Spain to become our ‘Black State’ but he was broke-ass and gave birth to Nevada to get all our silver because he was broke-ass, then we went to war with Spain 40 years later when we were no longer broke-ass and got Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, Guam, and Gitmo but not all of Cuba, settling instead for a US Phone Tax we paid on each bill for like a century!

You can’t make this shit up!  This is part of our history no one gives a rat’s ass about anymore!

I can’t take your bullshit anymore and I must invade Poland to save America!  I thought about Cuba, but that’s too close and you little fuqrs would probably pull a Mariel on us and I’m not about to put up with that bullshit, hence the Polish Option!

Sorry Poland, I have to do this to save America cuz I’m quite confident exactly no one reading this knows what Mariel is and how profoundly it changed our great nation and lead to the two assholes we have at the top of the ticket to become our next president!

Mike Zahara Siganture

Michael Zahara

A National Treasure!



Michael Z in Michael Kors McCarran 2 27 2016